Something that came through the inbox...I found it funny and thought I would share it with anyone reading my blog...
SMART ARSE ANSWER 6th Place
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ARSE ANSWER 5th Place
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
SMART ARSE ANSWER 4th Place
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
SMART ARSE ANSWER 3rd Place
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said. The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ARSE ANSWER 2nd Place
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, he?'The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'
SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand'.
2 comments:
True Story (I was on the plane)
Air North Plane flying East Timor to Darwin and as in they typical asian way, once landed and taxiing all the passengers ignored the usaul warning to wait until the plane was at the terminal before standing up and dropping bags on everyones head. In frustration the Air Hostess (yes thats what they are) said..
"In the history of this airline, no passenger has even beaten the plane to the terminal ...So SIT THE BLOODY HELL DOWN"
Mind you I think she had had a bad day (or it was her last day) she also took a phone from a lady passenger who was still talking as the plane was taxing to take off.. she took the phone, spoke to the caller "Do you speak english? No nor does she"..turned the phone off and give it back to the passenger
Yep...anyone who takes a flight in Indonesia will be familiar with the call not to turn on your mobile phones before getting inside the terminal and then a good majority already receiving SMS messages and making calls before the plane even gets off the runway!
In this case it is not even a language thing because the announcements are broadcast in at least two languages (sometimes three)...
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