What? The FPI Have A Problem With Tera Patrick...

The FPI make it too easy for me to find reasons to post pictures of porn stars. The fact that none of the pictures I post are technically porn in any other sense than the FPI one, it is still worth writing about the FPI and the free advertising they provide for porn movies and porn stars.

The beauty of this latest spat is that the FPI have not been the erstwhile premature ejaculators they have been in the past. These white robed hoodlums missed the boat on this one until after the horse bolted. It sort of reminds me of that nasty little phrase that one might hear in their youth of "have you cum yet?", to only hear in response "I have already been! What's holding you up?" Boys, Miss Patrick has been and gone or came and went, whichever you prefer.

The film is scheduled for release on 14 October 2010. This, if I am not mistaken, is tomorrow. Hmmm, so how did Ms. Patrick get into the country shoot the film and get out again without anyone knowing?

I am not quite sure what the attraction is between local movie producers, horror movies and international porn stars outside of the controversy and free advertising that the FPI and other hardliners are likely to bring. Nevertheless, a film titled Rintihan Kuntilanak Perawan (or the Moans of a Virgin Ghost) is undoubtedly going to pique the interest of the white-robed initiators of violence in the name of Islam (aka embarrassment plus plus).

The title gets the imaginative juices flowing in trying to work out exactly why a virgin ghost is moaning anyways. And, how do we know she is a virgin? And, how could Tera Patrick ever play a virgin? Maybe she is not in the lead role. Can the other stars, Catherine Wilson or Angelique, of this horror flick play virgins either? Just thinking that Angelique has a role is too funny for words. I wonder how her former husband, the King of Dangdut, Mr. Rhoma Irama, is handling the good news.

But even funnier than the prospect of a Rhoma Irama meltdown is the response of Habib "Hey Baby" Salim Alatas, the Head of the Jakarta Branch of the white-robed hoods, who is stressed because he did not even know that Ms. Patrick had come into the country and shot a film. It appears Hey Baby is stressed because the film producers had been so covert. Let me say this Hey Baby, Film Producers = 1 and FPI a big fat 0!


On the scary front though, Hey Baby is threatening to bring out the FPI masses in protest. This is not good. When the FPI get into large groups they have more trouble than a 14-year-old with a Hustler magazine with respect to the self-control stakes. The FPI seem to get off on violence and scaring the crap out of people.

Now, you really do have to give it to the film production house responsible for this little film coup, K2K. According to them, the negotiations to get Tera Patrick to do this here horror flick was a 16-month process that involved four or five approaches before agreement was secured. It was a hell of a job to go that long, seal the deal, shoot the film, and get Ms. Patrick out of the country without anyone being any the wiser over at FPI-ville. How do you keep a secret like this one from not being outed on Twitter or Facebook or somewhere?

Getting back to the funny. It would seem that while Tifatul Sembiring was talking up the shutting down of all porn sites coming into or operating out of Indonesia, one of the world's biggest porn stars had come into J-Town in the weeks before Ramadan and shot a film and departed again. Mr. Minister, how does that happen?

Well, it seems that the international porn actress shooting low-budget horror films will continue...it is time for the FPI to loosen up a little and let Miyabi come back and shoot her horror film!

The only decision I had with respect to this post was should the pictures be at the front-end or the back-end of the post...the back-end!