This is a post for my better half. I have been encouraging her to start her own blog and write about whatever takes her fancy. Resistance is not always futile and to date there is no blog for the reason that, "I don't write well enough!" This of course is entirely and definitely not true! I think that the better half's English is better than mine (that is another post though)!
Back to the topic. Most of my loyal readers will know that the wife is pregnant, going on 7 months now, and very excited at the prospect of becoming a mother in the near future. This excitement is the theme of the rest of this post.
It seems that most questions and statements that the wife is on the receiving end of sound similar to the following:
"Bob must be really pleased and excited that you are pregnant", or
"The parents-in-law must be really excited at having a grandchild".
Now for my mind these seem to be fairly innocuous questions or statements. However, I guess if one reads between the lines then one might see some connotation that is likely to annoy and anger the recipient. These are questions and statements that I have heard often in my travels and in many ways have probably become immune to them as being, in a cultural sense, the way things are.
This is sort of like; how old are you? are you married? why / why not? how many kids do you have? why don't you have any kids? what religion are you? The questions are generally posed out of genuine interest but are not necessarily common to other cultures.
My better half is Indonesian so it was interesting to hear that this is something that grates for her.
The question that my better half has is why is the question never, "you must be really excited on the pregnancy?" Why is it that the underlying premise is that a woman's worth is in some way linked to her ability to reproduce for her husband's and her husband's family's benefit?
So, these are my questions.
Can a woman have a child just because she wants to and not to please her husband, partner, and the family?
Is a woman's worth dependent on her ability to breed? What about women who make a conscious decision not to have children?
There are probably other questions to be posed. I will wait on responses and see what transpires. I might pose additional questions based on those responses (if any one reads this piece and makes a comment).
I might add that I am excited at the pending fatherhood, I am excited at my wife being excited about her pending motherhood, and I would still love her pregnant or not!