FPI Wants to Study Miyabi's Latest Movie...

For the too funny category!

There are some things that are made to bring humour into our lives and alleviate the boredom that we are sometimes prone to feel. I do not intend to make light of the seriousness of the FPI threat nor the fact that they are a bunch of violence prone white-robed thugs that are more than willing to beat you into compliance with their medieval ways in their desire to see Indonesia become the Arabian Peninsula of the 7th Century. Yet, when their leader, Habib Umar Salim or "Hey Baby", comes out and says that the Islamic Defenders' Front (FPI) must first study Miyabi's first foray into Indonesian horror films to determine if it is pornography, is extremely amusing.

The image of a group of white-robed thugs watching Miyabi while their hands are strategically placed under their flowing robes so as not to embarrass themselves should make even the hardest anti-FPI person chuckle. The whole idea of having to watch the film is reminiscent of the FPI's claims to only be buying the Indonesian version of Playboy Magazine to confirm their suspicions that it was pornographic and not because they were intent on sticking the pages together so no one else could read such filth.

Hey Baby led his goons to the Maxima offices to protest the imminent arrival of Miyabi. Miyabi is supposedly heading to Indonesia to promote her film, Hantu Tanah Kusir. Maybe she has already landed in Bali or somewhere and thus leaving the FPI clutching nothing but their ...! Or maybe the whole idea that Miyabi is coming (no pun intended) to Indonesia is nothing more than a classic controversial marketing campaign.

The FPI definition of pornography is any film that includes kissing scenes with only thin clothing separating the kissers. Obviously, Hey Baby has not heard the term "Clothes Sex", you know, the simulated sex scenes while one is fully clothed (I am sure there is a much coarser word than sex though, I wonder what it is?). Hey Baby, not to be deterred and becoming somewhat emboldened by all the attention, went on to state that striptease scenes are pornographic. A striptease scene might include any scene where the actors (presumably the female ones) are wearing hot pants or skirts that do not come below the knee. If Miyabi's film includes any scenes like those ones described then it satisfies the FPI's definition of a film that is pornographic and morally reprehensible.

Strangely enough, according to Detik.com, the FPI protest did not eventuate because they did not get a permit from the police in time. If only the FPI were that law-abiding all of the time.