What Do The Indonesian Cables on Wikileaks Reveal?

Tongue in cheek...

Someone asked me whether I thought the 3000+ diplomatic cables that Wikileaks are leaking on Indonesia will be interesting and worth a read. My answer, Yes!

No matter what is in these cables, they are going to make for interesting reading. This is particularly so for those who consider themselves knowledgeable on all things diplomatic and Indonesia / USA relationship wise. For those that are truly in the know, or those that are on the coal-face of this relationship, or those who are passionate about the study of the Indonesian / US bilateral relationship are likely to be more disappointed than anything else. These are secret and confidential cables. They will include some nice tidbits and probably some comments that will cause offense both at home and abroad, but they are unlikely to be earth shattering.

Yet, it is worth putting a modifier on that. For example, if one of the cables included a statement to the effect that there was evidence that SBY was on the Bakrie payroll, now that would be a pearler. It might not be earth-shattering, let's face it, it would be an easy assumption to make considering the ease with which Bakrie gets "passes" on everything that should tarnish and sink him for ever as a political player. Nevertheless, it would be fun to watch the fallout and the subsequent spin.

So, in light of the question, here are a couple of choice cable exchanges that I would be intrigued to read:

"SBY prefers to sing than to lead!"

Or, "the 2009 election was clearly not fair despite what the Carter Center may have said in its report. Evidence suggests that on the orders of SBY, Partai Demokrat spent huge sums of money to manipulate voting in areas outside of Jakarta!"


Or, "SBY: can't sing, can't dance, can't lead, all round waste of time, effort, and space. Indonesians are holding out to 2014 believing something is better just around the corner!"

Or, "despite public protestations to the contrary, SBY has performed poorly on key election promises relating to corruption and terror."

Or "the recent good results on the elimination of terrorists is really nothing more than elements of the national police and military cleaning house and tidying up some 'loose' ends!"

Or, "The Minister for Communication and Information is publicly an avid anti-porn advocate however he is known to frequent massage parlours that offer a plus plus service. Obviously, the man has an insatiable appetite for the bump and grind considering he has four wives and seven known mistresses!"

Or, more on TitS..."the Minister for Communication and Information's staff have been secretly trying to set up a session with Vicky Vette to determine whether she was serious about her offer to 'pleasure' the Minister. It is widely known that the Minister has a 'thing' for blondes with big breasts. One of his staff members noted that the Minister was a 'TitS man'. Maybe he meant that TitS is the man?"

Or cables along those lines. I could go on and on and on with the possibilities. I am sure that you, if anyone reads this, will have some of your own. So, feel free to share.

Once again, this is tongue in cheek. No 'real' offense is intended.