Funny Screen Shots...

Before heading to bed, I figured I would look for a little more light-hearted stuff that I might post about. So, during my cyber travels I came across this site called Banned in Hollywood (BIN). BIN had a series of funny screen shots posted and here is a selection of those.

My apologies to anyone who finds these offensive. I think they are fairly tame and provided me a bit of a chuckle before I head off to bed. Enjoy and Nighty night all!

 More colorful indeed!

Identical twins separated at birth?

 That is one hell of an afternoon storm you have brewing there Mr Weatherman!

 So, what was the prize? A giant condom?

 Reminds me of the following question: What starts with F and ends in UCK? FiretrUCK...

 She does not look to pleased by the prospect of President Obama's "arrival in me", does she? Does this mean that the president is likely to be a "come and leave" sort of a guy?

Seriously? People leave the house dressed like that? I wonder if you have to make the penis pants yourself or can you go to a specialty store for that sort of outfit?

A Little Fun With Sunglasses...

It is funny how small things amuse small minds. But, when I saw this picture again I found myself once again shaking my head because I would never have thought about a connection between sunglasses breast size and over-compensation linking the two.

I have posted this picture before.

Little Johnny -- Fascinate...

Keeping with the change of pace.

This is a joke that was sent to me recently. I would reckon that a "Little Johnny" search on Google will turn up thousands of jokes (I might go check it out after this post). Perhaps, even a version of this one.

Seeing that I am getting into teaching (received a scholarship for that very purpose) makes this particular joke even funnier.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Matilda said, "My family went to the Taronga Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Matilda, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Sheila raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Western Plains Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good Sheila, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."

The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence."

Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!"

And a bonus for those of you who enjoy Little Johnny's ability to make anything funny...

Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what’s going on. “Playing cards,” she replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Your father!”

Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. “Playing cards.” “With who?” he asks. ”My boyfriend!” she says.

A short while later, Little Johnny’s father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny’s room. He knocks on the door and asks ”What are you doing?” “Playing cards!” replied Johnny. ”Who’s your partner?” asked his father…

Little Johnny answers promptly, “With a hand like this who needs a partner?”

Mary, Joseph, and God...

Are you offended?

You have to hand it to those New Zealanders, they do have a good sense of timing and humour in order to spark discussion.

The above billboard appeared at the St. Matthew-in-the-City church in Auckland.

IKRAP and KRAP -- I Kid You Not!

A serious version of this is available at http://en.hukumonline.com. However, the acronyms / abbreviations used in this regulation were worth writing about by themselves irrespective of whether the substance of the regulation was serious or not.

It is obvious one of two things happened during the drafting phase of this particular Minister of Communication and Information regulation; the drafters really did not consider the humor that a bilingual Indonesian / English speaker would derive from the acronyms or the drafter was aware, and decided to do it anyway.

I am going to lean towards the latter, as that shows a fine sense of humour on the part of the drafters of this regulation.

What appears below is an amended version of what was posted to hukumonline.


Radio communication between citizens or CB Radio (Citizen Band Radio) finds its regulatory basis in Government Regulation No. 52 of 2000 and Minister of Communication Decision No. 77 of 2003. However, with the issue of Government Regulation No. 38 of 2007 there is a need to revoke and replace Decision No. 77. Therefore, the Minister of Communication and Information has issued Regulation No. 34/PER/M.KOMINFO/8/2009 for this purpose.

Citizen Band Radio (Komunikasi Radio Antar Penduduk / KRAP) is specifically prohibited from broadcasting certain material and from being commercialized. However, in contrast, CB radio must broadcast material relating to danger, natural disasters, and the like when those events arise. So, CB radio stations are therefore by law required to broadcast all the "Oh Krap" news and information; 'Oh crap, here comes the flood waters!"

The CB radio frequencies are those frequencies that have been set up and confirmed by the Minister. The frequency band set aside for CB radio is between 26.960 MHz and 27.410 MHz on the High Frequency Band. This is then divided into 40 distinct canals. These are listed in Article 18. The succeeding articles through to Article 23 set out the technical specifications.

All users of CB radios are required to be licensed (Izin Komunikasi Radio Antar Penduduk / IKRAP), and these licenses are to be issued by the Director General. The license is valid for a period of five years and can be renewed. The license permits the license-holder to own more than one set of CB radio equipment. Nevertheless, any person holding IKRAP is permitted only one call sign.

Which has me wondering whether if IKRAP in Jakarta whether my KRAP is going to be the same if IKRAP in Aceh or Bali? So, I wonder whether it is right to say that, 'no matter where IKRAP it is always the same'.

However, holding a license is not sufficient if one wants to be a CB radio user. In fact, the regulation is explicit that all license holders are required to become a member of an organization. The organization is Radio Antar Penduduk Indonesia (RAPI).

Each province in Indonesia is to use its own specific code. These codes are set out in Article 8(6) of the regulation. The procedures for licensing are listed in the regulation. Generally, there are three types covered: New IKRAP, IKRAP Renewal, and an IKRAP extension. The requirements for each are slightly different and are listed in Articles 12, 13, and 14.

The regulation sets out administrative sanctions that allow the Director General to cancel a license. A breach first requires two written warnings and a third warning results in the cancellation of a license. The Director General also has the power to cancel a license if the holder of that license has been convicted of a crime and the decision regarding that crime is already final and binding.

It would seem that the Director General has the power to control if, when, and where IKRAP by requiring me to have a license to KRAP which can be taken away if I KRAP in the wrong way or break the rules.

The regulation also includes a list of Attachments that contain all the standard forms required to comply with the provisions of the regulation. The Attachments also include a sample copy of what a CB radio license is to look like.

So, don't forget to smile for your very own IKRAP identity card.

By the way, anyone looking at getting into the KRAP-ping game, the requirement to hold a license under these provisions has been in force since 31 August 2009.

Latest Fashions -- Sunglasses...

Being an avid surfer of the internet, means that it is little wonder that I come across stuff that not only infuriates me or disturbs me, but stuff that also amuses me. Perhaps it is a case of small things amusing small minds, but there is nothing small about these sunglasses!

The picture above is available on the internet, the address is on the picture itself.

A President With A Sense of Humour...

There has been much made of whether race is a factor in politics no matter where you live in the world. The election of Barack Obama to the presidency of the United States of America was historic, perhaps for many reasons, but none more so than the fact he is a black man. The USA's first African-American president.

The current health care debate has had some commentators foaming at the mouth about whether or not the race card is being played in the sense that some people are anti-health bill for no other reason than the president is black. Obama has addressed these concerns in two ways, one a little more serious than the other.

The more serious version has Obama talking about the fact that the election showed that lots of folks voted for him irrespective of the colour of his skin, these folks were not only African-Americans, but Caucasians, Hispanics, Asians, and a whole lot of others as well. He acknowledges that maybe some people voted for him because he is black and some others voted for the other fella, John McCain, because Obama is black.

The less serious version popped up on the David Letterman Late Show where Obama said, "First of all, I think it's important to realize that I was actually black before the election."

However, it is worth noting that Obama himself has rejected the racism claims as they relate to health care reform and the passage of a health care bill. It is interesting that race is now re-appearing and raising its ugly head after so much talk and discussion of the USA entering into a post-racial phase. Post-racial being used to indicate a period where issues no longer had to be defined on race as there was a common or shared challenge in facing the future. To many this was the hope that the "Yes, we can!" campaign envisaged.

Health care reform is not about race, but rather it is about selling public policy and selling reforms. Simply, it is not going to ultimately matter what the colour of your skin is if you do not have health insurance.

In any event, the irreverent humor displayed by a sitting president appearing on a late night comedy show says much about the man.

"They Shake Me" -- Baby Fashion?

It seems that this t-shirt has caused a bit of a stir, perhaps even an uproar, or perhaps a controversy over in twitter land and on the Internet. The Cotton On Kids company has sort to boost sales through what they consider to be a humorous t-shirt campaign.

Is this a simple case of a sense of humor misunderstood or something more sinister? It seems that some would believe that the next t-shirt that Cotton On Kids might be producing is "my parents sexually abuse me". I have a sneaky suspicion that they won't be.

I will leave that one up to you.

Nevertheless, shaking babies and the severe injuries and death that may result mean, at least in my mind, that there is little humor to be had in the first t-shirt above. Shaking babies to me is just not funny. However, the second set of photos with the "I'm a tits man" and "I am living proof my mum is easy" are probably not as offensive as the first.

At least in my humble opinion.

Knickers...

Something that came into the Inbox about knickers...

Hope this puts a smile on your dial and brightens up your day (or evening).

Little Susie goes home from school one day and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she is so good at them.

Her mum says, "you should just say no because they only want to look at your knickers!"

In reply, Susie says, "I know they do that's why I hide them in my bag!"

Little Girl on a Plane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane. The stranger turned to the little girl and said, "let's talk. I have heard that flights go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" and he smiles.

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic."

But let me ask you a question first," she said.

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass. Yet, a dear excretes little pellets, a cow excretes flat patties, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do yo suppose that is?"

The stranger visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a moment and says, "hmmmm, I have no idea!"

To which the little girl replies, "do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you clearly do not know shit?"

Something To Brighten Up Your Day!

Something that came into my inbox that I thought was worth sharing!

1. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...'

2. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.'

5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'.

7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'

11. Man says to his doctor 'Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.' The doctor says 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' So the man asks 'Is it common?' to which the doctor replies 'It's not unusual.'

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he'scross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy!'

13. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.'

14. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

18. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you cheeky bugger!'

19. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

20. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.'

21. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more.'

With a bit of luck this post has put a smile on your dial.

Political Correctness vs. A Sense of Humour

As I am prone to do in the wee hours of the morning I have been surfing the Internet and amusing myself with the myriad of sites that are there to be seen. I came across the cartoon that I have posted here. My first reaction was to smile.

Nevertheless, the PC radar clicks in and my mind wanders to heated debates about whether a burqa can be worn for a photo on some one's driver's licence or in some one's passport. Then it wanders to whether the State can regulate whether a Muslim child or girl can where the hijab at school.

This all happens from a single cartoon that is designed to challenge our politically correct biases while making us laugh at ourselves.

I wonder what is your view on this cartoon.

The Dangers of Drugs

An addiction is an addiction no matter what it is to!

Sheep

No comments about New Zealanders and their sexual habits will be tolerated!

Parking Practice -- Aliens

Who said that there were not aliens among us?

If we would just open our eyes we would see that they are everywhere! The picture I have seen before (at least I think I have seen it before) but I borrowed this one from here.

I wish I was more technologically savvy so that I could photoshop pictures. I have a weird and wicked sense of humour so I think I could be good at it. I reckon there must be an adobe class somewhere in Jakarta. Any suggestions were a person with limited skills goes to get skilled-up?

Thanks!

Good in Bed

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an advertisement in the local newspaper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70’s);
MUST NOT BEAT ME,MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME; and
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!

ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, "You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don’t have any arms either!"

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed???"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said,

"Rang the doorbell didn’t I?"

The Last Supper

The inspiration for this particular post is several fold. I have written recently on Tempo's decision to publish a satirical rendition of Soeharto and his family in a pose resembling that of the "Last Supper" (not in the above collection) based on a painting by Da Vinci (the first of the pictures above). For this little indiscretion Tempo apologized.

The second inspiration that brought this back into my mind was a posting on Carl Parkes' blog, FriskoDude, which had re-posted some of the pictures above from another blog by Jeremy Barker, Popped Culture. I would recommend both blogs to you, my loyal readers. Both are excellent in my mind and well worth a read.

The final inspiration is that it seems like an opportune time with it being Easter and all!

The point of this post is that a sense of humour is a wonderful thing and the ability to laugh at ourselves is useful outlet for us to come to terms with the idea that not everything in life has to always be serious!

I am sure that the depictions are likely to offend some. But my original point in my posts before is that the original by Da Vinci is the artists interpretation of how he figured the Last Supper must have gone down.

There has been endless debate about the imagery and the meaning of the painting, but when it is all said and done it is a piece of art. The other renditions of the Last Supper making use of pop culture highlight that if nothing else Da Vinci's painting of the Last Supper lends itself to myriad of interpretations.