Ariel, Luna Maya, + Cut Tari...

Indonesia and porn, porn and Indonesia seem to go hand-in-hand, don't they? It never ceases to amaze me the level of hypocrisy that exists on this single issue. There are those jumping up and down waving the morality flag demanding that long jail sentences be handed down to people who find the need to film themselves doing the deed and then have this very deed find its way into the public domain. Yet, most surveys and other statistical data pegs Indonesia as one of the biggest consumers of porn on our little globe called earth.

I think Desi Anwar says it best in her opinion piece on the matter when she talks about moral censure, peeping toms and playing god. It is worth a read and you can find it here.

The realities here are that it is against the law, people know it is against the law, and they must certainly know that if they get caught then there is a pretty good chance that the relevant law enforcement agencies will go the whole nine yards to get a conviction. This seems particularly so if you happen to be a celebrity. Ariel, Luna Maya, and Cut Tari are going to find this out in the most public of ways. One arrest has been made and another two seem imminent. The Porn Law and the Criminal Code are destined to get a work out on this one.

It really is sad that this is being played out in the way that it is. There are just so many more important things that politicians could be doing rather than legislating morality. There is in a similar vein so many more important things that the police and other law enforcement agencies could be dealing with rather than a couple of starlets getting the once over by a singer who seems to be afflicted with a little bit of the "Don Juanism" condition.

However, it must be noted that none of this is surprising on any front. All of us who are either Indonesian or who have long associations with the place understand that Indonesians have an insatiable appetite for gossip, particularly celebrity gossip. Indonesian TV is testament to that. We also know that the politicians and law enforcement people often look for any good gossip in order to deflect attention from real issues that need real work and real responses to see them resolved.

Yes, the reality here is that you have a couple of sex videos, pretty tame by most accounts, and nothing to write home about. Yet, it is news that has diverted the attention of a nation, and seen the story picked up by the international press. On the importance scale, the size of Ariel's penis, his sexual prowess, or the preferred methods associated with any climax activity, ranks, at least in my opinion, a very distant last on a long line of really important issues such as the systematic attempts to dissolve the KPK from its current form, the failure of parliament to speed up the legislative process, or myriad of other issues. Then again, I am sure that it will not be too long before we are hearing that Ariel's escapades have directly contributed to an earthquake or a tsunami or some other natural disaster that befalls the innocent in Indonesia. Sad!

As a matter of priority, it is time that people thought about the things that are really important and worked towards resolutions on those fronts.

Then again, good gossip and a sex video is something that most people just need to talk about!

Little Johnny -- Fascinate...

Keeping with the change of pace.

This is a joke that was sent to me recently. I would reckon that a "Little Johnny" search on Google will turn up thousands of jokes (I might go check it out after this post). Perhaps, even a version of this one.

Seeing that I am getting into teaching (received a scholarship for that very purpose) makes this particular joke even funnier.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Matilda said, "My family went to the Taronga Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, Matilda, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Sheila raised her hand and said, "My family went to the Western Plains Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Good Sheila, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because Johnny was notorious for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said loudly, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons."

The teacher said, "That was good, Johnny. However, you did not use the word 'fascinate' in your sentence."

Little Johnny continued, "But her boobs are so big, she can only fasten eight!"

And a bonus for those of you who enjoy Little Johnny's ability to make anything funny...

Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what’s going on. “Playing cards,” she replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Your father!”

Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. “Playing cards.” “With who?” he asks. ”My boyfriend!” she says.

A short while later, Little Johnny’s father is walking down the hall and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny’s room. He knocks on the door and asks ”What are you doing?” “Playing cards!” replied Johnny. ”Who’s your partner?” asked his father…

Little Johnny answers promptly, “With a hand like this who needs a partner?”

Tiger Woods and Gay Sex...

It has been a spectacular fall from grace for the world's first billion dollar sportsperson. However, no matter how spectacular the fall, there is always an opportunity for redemption. The game now is whether Tiger Woods can trek that path to redemption.

In many respects the only way that things can go from here are up. There are probably some who might wonder how a professional golfer with a squeaky clean image can recover from one affair let alone fourteen or so of them over a relatively short period of time. Perhaps, therein lies the answer. Tiger Woods is the golfer of his generation, and perhaps overtime the greatest golfer of all time, and herein lies the opportunity for redemption. His name and reputation may be forever marked by this myriad of indiscretions, but the situation is not beyond repair in most facets of his existence.

That said, I would reckon the situation might be beyond repair on the marriage front, but being a divorced father is probably not the end of his world. I don't envy the man's task in having to tell or explain to his children how and why things went the way they did. Nevertheless, we are all human and we all make mistakes, the key is getting back up off the ground when we get knocked down, either by our own doing or by someone else's.

Tiger Woods will be back.

Considering the title of the post, I guess there should be a few words about the allegation that Tiger Woods has either indulged in, or had fantasies about, gay sex.

Now, one of the women Tiger is alleged to have been doing the deed with has decided to write a tell all book. The major selling point of the book seems to be not only Tiger's appetite for sex with women, but also with men. According to Loredana Jolie, she has seen Tiger having sex with men. Not sure that there are any photos floating around of these gay sex encounters, but if there were I am guessing that they would be selling for a pretty good price.

The idea is not outside the realm of possibility. It seems that Tiger had a bit of a fetish for threesomes and had a fantasy of being part of one with one of his other mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, and Derek Jeter or David Boreanaz. Derek Jeter is a New York Yankees legend and David Boreanaz is the star of the show Bones.

In any event, the timing of the recent Vanity Fair cover was particularly opportune, don't you think?

Yoga...

I wonder if this is an example of tantric yoga?

I have never learned myself, but it would seem that there are some interesting positions and some hands on requirements, particularly if you find yourself in the position of teacher or Yogi.

I am sure that this photo lends itself to a pun or two.

Bizarre Sex Stories

Now, this is a story I could not resist covering.

A man in the US has been arrested for receiving sexual favours from a vacuum cleaner at a car wash. I am not quite sure how this works and whether or not solicitation was involved. I am guessing the fella walked up to the machine and said something along the lines of, "if I put in my dollar, will you suck me clean?"

I am also guessing the vacuum did not respond verbally but took the cash and did its thing.

This all came about because a concerned resident saw some strange activity at the car wash and called the police. A police officer turned up and caught a 29-year-old man in the grips of vacuum pleasure and he was arrested. This bizarre sexual encounter took place in Saginaw. Saginaw is in Michigan and is not too far from Detroit.

The fella is currently in jail.

Kinky Sex -- The Key To Happiness?

One might wonder what the key to happiness is. At least in some ways that question seems to have been answered, kinky sex. Any desires Australia might have harboured of conforming to some perceived drab and dreary sexual norm has been shattered by a recent sex survey which found that there are many Australians who enjoy bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism (BSDM). This kind of sexual practice involves role play.

This was not a survey of just a few hundred people. The survey questioned some 20,000 people and found that contrary to wide-held beliefs that the practitioners of these kinds of sexual pleasures were not damaged and dangerous as a result of their preferences. The study also found that BSDM was also not practiced as some kind of reaction to previous sexual abuse. But never fear the practitioners account for a mere 2% of Australians.

The survey was conducted by public health researchers from the University of New South Wales. The findings have been published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The fact that 2% of Australians partake in BSDM is not so surprising, but the fact that the findings of the survey suggest that they are happier than most others is a surprise. I took a couple of psychology courses at university and was always taught that BSDM was deviant sexual behaviour and that the practitioners were in some way damaged goods and in need of specialized intervention in order for recovery to be achieved.

It may now be the case that people looking for a little happiness might want to consider a healthy bondage or discipline session.

The findings might be good for business for those sex shops that supply the necessary equipment for a good ol' bondage and discipline session.