Kopi Luwak -- A Postscript...

The MUI has decided that Kopi Luwak (Luwak Coffee) is OK for consumption by Muslims. This means that the MUI sees no need to issue a fatwa prohibiting Muslims from drinking really expensive coffee. I have had a mug or two in my time of the kopi luwak, and it is an excellent drop. Nevertheless, it is a luxury that is currently out of my price range.

I am not Muslim so a fatwa would make no difference to me anyway. But, I am a little confused by the reasoning of the MUI on this one. Perhaps some of my Muslim readers or other informed souls will see fit to enlighten me. The concern here was whether the coffee was the product of something that was najis, or ritually impure. If it was, then Muslims would be required to avoid it or drink it and seemingly be in a perpetual state of najasat (ritual impurity).

Kopi Luwak is coffee that is made from beans that have been eaten by a civet and then excreted whole. My understanding was that the civet was najis in the same ways that dogs and pigs are considered najis. In addition, we are talking about coffee beans that have been eaten by something that is najis and then this najis little civet craps out the beans which are then collected, cleaned, ground, and sold for big dollars.

The MUI decision not to act is based on the belief that if the beans remain in tact and are thoroughly cleaned and there is no fecal contamination then the coffee is fine to drink, at least this is the story according to Ma'ruf Amin.

This must mean that the MUI is going to certify the production process or it will have to have a little bean checker dude checking each and every been as it is processed.

Oh well, happy kopi luwak drinking time to all!

MUI, Fatwas, and Kopi Luwak...

Each passing day further highlights the fact that the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) has way too much time on its hands. Unfortunately, rather than doing something useful like marshalling their considerable resources and self-confessed moral authority to rid Indonesia of poverty, they instead focus their considerable energies on really useful world-changing matters such as the prohibition of drinking kopi luwak.

Kopi luwak is the world's most expensive coffee. What makes this coffee so unique, and apparently worth up to USD 600 a kilo is that the coffee beans are eaten by the civet and then passed through their intestinal tract and excreted in their feces. Then the feces are collected, the beans washed, and the coffee ground. All pretty simple really.

It is likely that there are many people who would turn up their nose at the prospect of paying top dollar for a recycled coffee bean, particularly so for a coffee bean recycled in this way. Yet, there are those who believe that kopi luwak is one of the world's great coffees, exquisite, and so worthy of the high price tag. Then there are others, probably not to be classed as connoisseurs of the little black beans, who think it to be just another cup of coffee, no better or no worse than you might get from a McDonalds McCafe.

Funnily enough, the Indonesian president, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (SBY) decided that it was exquisite enough to give a bag to Kevin Rudd (former Australian Prime Minister) when Rudd visited Indonesia. That led to the inevitable, and somewhat lame jokes, of "crappacino" and "dung diplomacy".

However, when one thinks about it, it was pretty prophetic of the Indonesian president because it was not all that far into the future after that the then Australian PM found himself in a world of crap and was deposed as PM by his deputy.

The interest from the MUI (and according to the MUI, the NU) stems from concerns that kopi luwak is najis. Najis means ritually unclean, and unclean foods are forbidden in Islam. There is no doubting that najis exists in Islam and there are very specific provisions in place relating to things that are najis. It remains to be seen as to whether kopi luwak is one of those things.

However, no matter what the outcome, it remains a truism that there are so many far more important and pressing matters facing Indonesia and Indonesians that the MUI would be better served thinking about those and directing their collective energies to the successful resolution of those problems first before worrying about the najis or lack of najis-ness of kopi luwak.

Ho hum...

IKRAP and KRAP -- I Kid You Not!

A serious version of this is available at http://en.hukumonline.com. However, the acronyms / abbreviations used in this regulation were worth writing about by themselves irrespective of whether the substance of the regulation was serious or not.

It is obvious one of two things happened during the drafting phase of this particular Minister of Communication and Information regulation; the drafters really did not consider the humor that a bilingual Indonesian / English speaker would derive from the acronyms or the drafter was aware, and decided to do it anyway.

I am going to lean towards the latter, as that shows a fine sense of humour on the part of the drafters of this regulation.

What appears below is an amended version of what was posted to hukumonline.


Radio communication between citizens or CB Radio (Citizen Band Radio) finds its regulatory basis in Government Regulation No. 52 of 2000 and Minister of Communication Decision No. 77 of 2003. However, with the issue of Government Regulation No. 38 of 2007 there is a need to revoke and replace Decision No. 77. Therefore, the Minister of Communication and Information has issued Regulation No. 34/PER/M.KOMINFO/8/2009 for this purpose.

Citizen Band Radio (Komunikasi Radio Antar Penduduk / KRAP) is specifically prohibited from broadcasting certain material and from being commercialized. However, in contrast, CB radio must broadcast material relating to danger, natural disasters, and the like when those events arise. So, CB radio stations are therefore by law required to broadcast all the "Oh Krap" news and information; 'Oh crap, here comes the flood waters!"

The CB radio frequencies are those frequencies that have been set up and confirmed by the Minister. The frequency band set aside for CB radio is between 26.960 MHz and 27.410 MHz on the High Frequency Band. This is then divided into 40 distinct canals. These are listed in Article 18. The succeeding articles through to Article 23 set out the technical specifications.

All users of CB radios are required to be licensed (Izin Komunikasi Radio Antar Penduduk / IKRAP), and these licenses are to be issued by the Director General. The license is valid for a period of five years and can be renewed. The license permits the license-holder to own more than one set of CB radio equipment. Nevertheless, any person holding IKRAP is permitted only one call sign.

Which has me wondering whether if IKRAP in Jakarta whether my KRAP is going to be the same if IKRAP in Aceh or Bali? So, I wonder whether it is right to say that, 'no matter where IKRAP it is always the same'.

However, holding a license is not sufficient if one wants to be a CB radio user. In fact, the regulation is explicit that all license holders are required to become a member of an organization. The organization is Radio Antar Penduduk Indonesia (RAPI).

Each province in Indonesia is to use its own specific code. These codes are set out in Article 8(6) of the regulation. The procedures for licensing are listed in the regulation. Generally, there are three types covered: New IKRAP, IKRAP Renewal, and an IKRAP extension. The requirements for each are slightly different and are listed in Articles 12, 13, and 14.

The regulation sets out administrative sanctions that allow the Director General to cancel a license. A breach first requires two written warnings and a third warning results in the cancellation of a license. The Director General also has the power to cancel a license if the holder of that license has been convicted of a crime and the decision regarding that crime is already final and binding.

It would seem that the Director General has the power to control if, when, and where IKRAP by requiring me to have a license to KRAP which can be taken away if I KRAP in the wrong way or break the rules.

The regulation also includes a list of Attachments that contain all the standard forms required to comply with the provisions of the regulation. The Attachments also include a sample copy of what a CB radio license is to look like.

So, don't forget to smile for your very own IKRAP identity card.

By the way, anyone looking at getting into the KRAP-ping game, the requirement to hold a license under these provisions has been in force since 31 August 2009.

Little Girl on a Plane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane. The stranger turned to the little girl and said, "let's talk. I have heard that flights go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" and he smiles.

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic."

But let me ask you a question first," she said.

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass. Yet, a dear excretes little pellets, a cow excretes flat patties, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do yo suppose that is?"

The stranger visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a moment and says, "hmmmm, I have no idea!"

To which the little girl replies, "do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you clearly do not know shit?"

Faecal Ice Cream

The Coogee Bay Hotel is just across the road from where I once managed a Dominos pizza shop. I know the street and the hotel well. However, it seems the hotel is in the shit for well, serving shit. I am not one to mince words so if you are offended by the more plain language term for faecal matter the my apologies to you.

It is not uncommon for people to say their food tastes like shit, but how many of you have ever really been served shit? It turns out that one such family claims they were. The story goes that they were enjoying a Grand Final day out in the now more family friendly Coogee Bay Hotel. It never used to be so family friendly, I guess time changes all things eventually.

Anyways, the family orders a bowl of ice cream and at the bottom of the bowl is what seems to be compacted chocolate. However, this was certain to be like no other chocolate this family had ever eaten.

The chocolate has been tested by the Federal Government's National Measurement Institute confirms that the matter "has an offensive odour and physical properties similar to human excreta ... and to contain fragments of a variety of plant matter typical of excreta".

Interestingly, the Hotel owner Chris Cheung and general manager Tony Williams have offered the family AUD 5000 without admitting liability, which is like saying that it probably is what you said but we will never admit it, the family has rejected the offer as it seems to think it is on a winner. There are claims that hte family is demanding a cool million or so.

The family has now retained the law firm Slater&Gordon which seems to suggest that this might get messier still.

There are pretty stiff penalties for knowingly breaching NSW food laws. These include prosecutions, fines, and jail time for individuals. Now that the allegations have been made and the compacted chocolate tested and found to be consistent with faecal matter, I am not sure that you can sweep this under the carpet so to speak even if the family and the hotel settle out of court.

It seems that the Primary Industries Minister, Ian Macdonald, is looking to get in on the action and has suggested that the family contact the NSW Food Authority so McDonald can start an investigation.