Will at Seven Months...

These photos were taken with a mobile phone camera...Still pretty good though!

The Art of Power Napping

Or is it cat napping? Whatever it is there are vast swathes of cyber space devoted to these short bursts of sleep. Some of these sites purport to be academic, informative, or just plain after your hard-earned cash. However, for me it is the art of synchronizing my sleep patterns to those of Will.

He tends to sleep for a couple of hours and then needs a good feed. A good feed is obviously a very tiring experience as it is followed by more sleep. Thus the pattern repeats. Although, I must say the last couple of days we have had an arrangement where the little fella sleeps in really short bursts of 20-30 minutes. This has serious potential to kill me in a very short period of time. I do not need a lot of sleep but I am not sure that 20-30 minute bursts are my thing either.

Hence the need to learn the power napping skills. I was thinking of looking around, learning a little bit more, and then maybe buying a tape (or the more modern version of a tape, a CD, or more modern still download something to the mp3). However, the last couple of days seems to suggest to me that I have either worked it out or I am just getting more used to the parenting thing.

So much so that I am writing this after one such power nap.

Happy holidays to all. May they be safe and prosperous.

Fatherhood 2

A fatherhood update.

Yes, it is 01.30 in the morning. I have just finished feeding and changing little Will and after burping him and then getting him to sleep, I figured I would jot a few lines on the experience of being a father so far.

Every moment is an amazing one. It is amazing to watch my Wife and Son bond. It is amazing to watch what Will does as he struggles to look around and find me when I am talking. My folks are here at the moment and they are amazed that the little fella responds to my voice and tracks my movements with his eyes. I do not know the ins and outs of child development and hence do not know if this is normal behaviour in a 10-day-old.

It is fun learning and understanding what certain movements or sounds mean. These are important lessons as they are likely to save you from getting shot in the face with a warm stream of pee as you open up the nappy to make a change. I have to say that this was a lesson learned the hard way. I am still not convinced that there is any medicinal benefit in drinking pee. I once read somewhere that Demi Moore used to drink her own pee. Maybe she can drop by and leave me an explanation as to the benefits.

Will seems to be such a wise young soul. His facial expressions are those of a much older kid and his eyes seem to always be searching and asking the piercing questions of life. Then again perhaps this is just my fatherly bias :D

He is a good kid. Definitely not a yeller, screamer, or crier. He has already mastered the art of getting a cuddle (pulling a face and holding his breath till his face goes a little red like as though he is going to cry gets people running from all directions).

The first 10 days of fatherhood have been fun. I am tired because of not enough sleep. I am sure the Wife is even more tired than I. Hence the need for a system of shifts or rostered response obligations.

To all of you who have passed on their good wishes and blessings, thank you! For all of those of you who have provided advice and suggestions, thank you! For those of you who have just simply said, "enjoy it!", thank you too.

Good week to all!

Fatherhood 1

As those who read the all over the place postings that I make on this blog of mine will be aware that the Kid, William Alun Baiton (AKA Will) was born this past Friday at 07.35. We are blessed to have Will healthy and with all the necessary vital parts in the places they are meant to be.

The first couple of days through to Sunday were tiring as I was sleeping on the floor of the hospital. However, we were only getting hour long sessions or so with Will at certain times of the day.

We, as a happy family, were able to head home on Sunday and so we did. Some of you have been gracious in your comments in welcoming us to the "no sleep zone", thanks!

Hopefully, we can get Will's sleep clock in sync with ours and that this will happen sooner rather than later. The little fella is a pretty good sleeper during the day. He comes into his own in the wee hours (I now know why it is called the wee hours) and is a voracious drinker / feeder of the good stuff! I have know sleep deprivation in the past but not like this.

Since moving to Indonesia I have become a solid sleeper in terms of being able to sleep through just about anything and any circumstances. However, this has meant that I am sleeping a lot lighter than I usually allow myself as I am sleeping with a view to hearing even the slightest murmur out of Will.

Nevertheless, when all things are considered, I would have it no other way! I am loving the being a father thing and I am looking forward to the challenges ahead.

The fun and games have begun.

I will post more pictures later!

William Alun Baiton

I promised to post and here it is.

William Alun Baiton was born at 07.35 on 28 November 2008. He is a healthy 3.7 kgs and 50cm in length.

Mother and baby Will are doing well.

If any of you are wondering "Alun" is the Welsh spelling of Alan.

Alan is my father's name and today is his birthday.

Enjoy the pictures!

Fatherhood In A Week

Friday is the day of the weekly visit to the doctor to get the good, the bad, and the ugly news from the doctor on how things are progressing pregnancy wise.

The Kid now weighs in at a hefty 3.5+ kgs and is expected to pack on the grams over the next seven days or so. The doc is of the opinion that next week will be as good a time as any for the little fella to make his grand entrance into the big bad world as we know it.

Any hopes of a normal vaginal birth have been dashed by the size of the little fella's head. So, next Friday, which also happens to be my Dad's birthday will be the big day.

I will be sure to post all the vital statistics sometime on Friday next week. Then again I am not sure that I will be getting too many spare minutes from now on.

Wet T-Shirt

And the winner is ...

Have a look at the face on this kid. Is he saying, "Hey dad! The score is 1 - 0 to me!"

The Moment of Truth 2

And this has nothing to do with Barack Obama. It does have something to do with biracial though.

Friday mornings are "check-up" mornings at the doctor. They started off monthly, then went fortnightly, and now are weekly. So, yesterday morning was spent at the hospital waiting for the doctor to arrive. Apparently, he had a surgery to perform and was running late.

When he did finally arrive and the USG was done and the prescriptions written, he piped up with, "everything is looking good, and that the birth could be as early as next week!" Now, this was one of those moments where you go, "but you said early December! What's wrong with early December?"

Well, it seems that everything has gone so smoothly to date and the Kid (likely to be named William Alun) has grown to a point where there is not a whole lot more room to grow more, and might just say "bugger it", it is time for me to be out of this small world and into the big bad world on the outside.

I will be sure to keep you posted.

Pending Fatherhood -- An Update

I am into the counting days mode already.

The birth might not be expected until the end of November or the beginning of December so I could probably keep counting down in weeks but that would be no fun now, would it? The Doc says that he thinks 7 December is a pretty good guesstimate.

We are excited.

Now, the little fella has obviously inherited the old man's genes as he is about 600 grams heavier than he is supposed to be at this stage. The last time I jumped on the scales I was about 600 grams heavier than I should be too!

He is a really active little bugger as well with a back-to-front sleep clock. That is when we want to sleep he wants to play. This is probably a bigger issue for the wife than it is for me as he practices his mixed martial arts techniques in the womb.

45 days to go!

The Waiting Game

There are just two months to go now, give or take, until we take the first tentative steps on parenthood. It is something that I am looking forward to as most of you know. However, it is bizarre the emotional rollercoaster that we run on the journey through to the finish line.

The expectation and excitement is sometimes (the closer the time gets to birth the more frequent this is) interchanged with impatience. Strange as that is. It is just a case of wanting to see the Kid out in the real world rather than just on the USG. The logical part of my brain understands that this is a process and the gestation period on average is nine months. I get it, I really do.

Patience is a virtue, they say. So, patient it is.

More on Parenthood

Every Saturday the Wife goes to an exercise / information class for pregnant women. We had initially hoped that this would be a joint class but unfortunately it was not, only women can attend. So, I now spend Saturday mornings at home instead. This also means that I can waste more time on the Internet and blogging.

Yet, I can spend the time looking for "how to" and "tips" on how to be a good father.

As the excitement builds so does the fear factor.

Always fun though.

Parenthood -- A Scary Prospect?

The pregnancy is going well. The most recent trip to the doctor showed that everything was going in the direction that it is supposed to. The Kid is looking healthy and is a little bit bigger than he should be, apparently, by a couple of hundred grams or so.

The trip to the doctor have moved from a once a month event to once every two weeks. The closer it gets the more exciting it becomes. The thought of being responsible for a little life is at time daunting. I do not know if it is a normal part of the process or not, but I often find myself wondering what kind of an old man I am going to make. I also find myself spotting more parents with kids and notice how they discipline them in public.

You also notice how many Indonesians have hired help to make it "easier". I am in for a no assistance schedule on the child rearing front as I have been instructed there will be no nannies or anything else involved. So, I will be the prematurely old looking fella pushing the stroller around, if you happen to notice.

Back to the doctor trips. These trips have become like a big day out, a real event in and of themselves. They usually culminate in shopping. As the due date comes ever-closer, these shopping trips tend to end in having spent way too much money of things for the Kid, all necessary of course. Last week saw us become the proud owners of a crib with all the trimmings. The weekend before saw that the Kid kitted out in all the latest fashions. This included some hand-sewn cross-stitch additions.

The thought of parenthood is both a scary one and an exciting one. Maybe it is different for kid number 2. The first kid though just has so many unanswered questions.

The beauty of life!

People With Kids

I notice people with kids much more frequently now. I do not know whether there is a causal link that can be traced to my own pending fatherhood or not, but I am assuming that there must be. I particularly notice parents of kids whose kid is in the midst of a temper tantrum, crying uncontrollably, or other such incidents of typical kid-like behaviours.

I am generally trying to work out how I am going to respond. I guess this is because I am certain that when the Kid is being well-behaved he will be Mommy's boy and when he is acting up he will be Daddy' boy and I will be the one responsible for disciplining the little fella.

I have had plenty of practice with the nieces and nephews and with other people's kids. So, I am quietly confident that I am going to be able to handle the changed sleep patterns and the general lack of sleep. As Big John McCarthy of UFC fame was known to say, "let's get it on!"

Cultural Issues...

This is a post for my better half. I have been encouraging her to start her own blog and write about whatever takes her fancy. Resistance is not always futile and to date there is no blog for the reason that, "I don't write well enough!" This of course is entirely and definitely not true! I think that the better half's English is better than mine (that is another post though)!

Back to the topic. Most of my loyal readers will know that the wife is pregnant, going on 7 months now, and very excited at the prospect of becoming a mother in the near future. This excitement is the theme of the rest of this post.

It seems that most questions and statements that the wife is on the receiving end of sound similar to the following:

"Bob must be really pleased and excited that you are pregnant", or

"The parents-in-law must be really excited at having a grandchild".

Now for my mind these seem to be fairly innocuous questions or statements. However, I guess if one reads between the lines then one might see some connotation that is likely to annoy and anger the recipient. These are questions and statements that I have heard often in my travels and in many ways have probably become immune to them as being, in a cultural sense, the way things are.

This is sort of like; how old are you? are you married? why / why not? how many kids do you have? why don't you have any kids? what religion are you? The questions are generally posed out of genuine interest but are not necessarily common to other cultures.

My better half is Indonesian so it was interesting to hear that this is something that grates for her.

The question that my better half has is why is the question never, "you must be really excited on the pregnancy?" Why is it that the underlying premise is that a woman's worth is in some way linked to her ability to reproduce for her husband's and her husband's family's benefit?

So, these are my questions.

Can a woman have a child just because she wants to and not to please her husband, partner, and the family?

Is a woman's worth dependent on her ability to breed? What about women who make a conscious decision not to have children?

There are probably other questions to be posed. I will wait on responses and see what transpires. I might pose additional questions based on those responses (if any one reads this piece and makes a comment).

I might add that I am excited at the pending fatherhood, I am excited at my wife being excited about her pending motherhood, and I would still love her pregnant or not!

Pending Fatherhood

This is a personal musing on pending fatherhood.

I have noticed on the telly that Snoop Dogg has a reality show on Global TV (MTV) about fatherhood. It is essentially him doing stuff with his kids. But, the inspiration for the post comes from a conversation I was having with a good friend and a single question that he asked, "are you excited?"

The simple answer is, "Yes!" The complex and long winded answer would include the reasons why. I am looking forward to being responsible for how the little fella turns out as a person. The challenge is both daunting but undoubtedly full of plenty of good times. I look back fondly on my own childhood. If I can be half the parent that my parents were to me then the kid is going to do well in his life.

The pregnancy journey has obviously been more of a burden for the better half than me. Burden in the sense of carrying the kid. For men it is sort of like you do your thing and then you have nine months off from the hard yakka. The biggest demand is satisfying the crazy cravings that the mother has. I am expecting my work load to pick up a little after the little fella pokes his head out into this brave new world.

The fun stuff is the looking at the USG and being able to see the miracle of life in action. Watching your very own flesh and blood grow before your eyes. The Kid is going to be an active bugger if his performances to date are any indication. The way he is banging about with his hands, elbows, arms, feet, knees, and legs, suggests to me that there is a budding UFC star on the way. The next Randy Couture.

The next big thing is to make some recording of the Kid in 3D and 4D. The miracles of modern technology. My parents were going to come over sometime next week and we were going to take them for a look see at the USG. Then yesterday my old lady decided that double bypass heart surgery was more important. In short no air travel for her for a while. Thankfully, the surgery went well and perhaps the folks will be able to fly over later in the year. Hence the idea of getting the recordings in 3D and 4D.

The excitement is also that I am looking forward to playing cricket with the kid as he grows up. Hopefully, at 50 or so I will still be able to waddle around and role the arm over in 4th or 5th grade competitive cricket. I am not so much looking forward to having to get back to primary school maths and science to help with homework...but it should make me good for a shot at the million dollar question on "Are You Smarter than a 5-year-old?"

So, yeah, I am excited at the prospect of being a father. Probably no more so than my better half is looking forward to being a mother. We already have a running bet on what the kid's first word is going to be.

The Kid!

This is what "The Kid" looks like at 14 weeks! I am not convinced that he looks like me yet :D

Ahhhh...the joys of pending fatherhood and the beauty of modern technology like ultrasonography (USG) that allows us to experience such things!

Insecurity...Personal Musings

I have been wondering over the last few days about all manner of things as there are some big decisions to made over the next couple of weeks, particularly about the future direction of my life and by default the future of my better half and the kid (who will not be on the scene until late November but nonetheless affected by the decisions made now).

My position has not really changed over the last couple of weeks and I just do not see myself in Indonesia past the end of the year. The "big" meeting of the other week seemed to go well. I was asked to supply a bullet point outline of where I see things going over the next couple of years, which I did, but have heard nothing in return about that. So, I am not sure that this is a good thing or a bad thing.

I have been looking around and asking questions of people, as one does when you are making life changing decisions, about what I am worth and how hard is the hard ball I should play on this. It would seem that I am worth a lot more than I am currently working at. However, all these things are subjective and in the end you are only worth as much as someone is prepared to pay you. It is with this in mind that I do not think that I will be able to wiggle my true value in my current circumstances. So, much so that I must admit that I have not even broached the subject of what value I feel I am worth.

As is the way in Indonesia (and most other places as well) this is a negotiation and one that I am not particularly keen to start. Therefore, we are doing this merry little dance of going round and round in circles as I wait for them to make an offer so that I can gauge what they think I am worth and they in turn are waiting for me to see what I think I am worth. Ultimately, nothing happens.

The work stuff aside...the insecurity relates to things that are way into the future! Like am I going to be a good father. Others are more current and relate to things like am I being a good husband in terms of staying in Indonesia and working for so much less than I could be earning in Australia. Am I being a good husband and providing the life that my wife deserves? These questions enhance the feeling of needing to make a change in order that I feel that I am doing the things that I want to be doing and doing them right.

Sometimes I just feel that I am too selfish and only look at the little picture. So, in this time of serious re-evaluation I continue to lean towards going back to whence I came and perhaps answering some of the insecurities that I hold.

The Miracle of Life

Does it really matter whether life was created by an omnipotent God or whether it just happened as some freak of nature?

Thoughts of fatherhood and whether I will make a good one...