Jury Duty...Meow!

Today's posts have been a little heavy. So, it is time to lighten the mood somewhat.

Here is bureaucracy in action.

Sal, the pet cat, has been summonsed for pussy jury duty. It would seem that in spite of Sal's limited language and comprehension skills, and the fact that he is a cat, he is still required for jury duty at the Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston.

Sal's owner, Anna Esposito told the powers that be that Sal was a cat. She even went to the trouble of getting Sal's vet to confirm that Sal was not fit for jury duty. It would certainly liven up proceedings to see a cat occupying Chair No. 12. It would be even more fun if young Sal was elected forepussy  foreperson of the jury. But, when push comes to shove, it will not take the court long to realise that Sal is disqualified from sitting on the jury because he does not speak English.

On a serious note though. This case should highlight how badly bureaucracy can get things wrong. Perhaps it is something one needs to remember when dealing with a bureaucracy, as frustrating as they can be. The cat for jury duty arose because the last US census asked for people to note down family pets. It seems Sal graduated from family pet to family member, and then qualified for jury duty.

I have to say, this story certainly allowed me a giggle. After all, could you imagine Sal sitting on the jury in a case of a dog doing the doo on the pavement? The dog is a goner, electric chair all the way!

What? The FPI Have A Problem With Tera Patrick...

The FPI make it too easy for me to find reasons to post pictures of porn stars. The fact that none of the pictures I post are technically porn in any other sense than the FPI one, it is still worth writing about the FPI and the free advertising they provide for porn movies and porn stars.

The beauty of this latest spat is that the FPI have not been the erstwhile premature ejaculators they have been in the past. These white robed hoodlums missed the boat on this one until after the horse bolted. It sort of reminds me of that nasty little phrase that one might hear in their youth of "have you cum yet?", to only hear in response "I have already been! What's holding you up?" Boys, Miss Patrick has been and gone or came and went, whichever you prefer.

The film is scheduled for release on 14 October 2010. This, if I am not mistaken, is tomorrow. Hmmm, so how did Ms. Patrick get into the country shoot the film and get out again without anyone knowing?

I am not quite sure what the attraction is between local movie producers, horror movies and international porn stars outside of the controversy and free advertising that the FPI and other hardliners are likely to bring. Nevertheless, a film titled Rintihan Kuntilanak Perawan (or the Moans of a Virgin Ghost) is undoubtedly going to pique the interest of the white-robed initiators of violence in the name of Islam (aka embarrassment plus plus).

The title gets the imaginative juices flowing in trying to work out exactly why a virgin ghost is moaning anyways. And, how do we know she is a virgin? And, how could Tera Patrick ever play a virgin? Maybe she is not in the lead role. Can the other stars, Catherine Wilson or Angelique, of this horror flick play virgins either? Just thinking that Angelique has a role is too funny for words. I wonder how her former husband, the King of Dangdut, Mr. Rhoma Irama, is handling the good news.

But even funnier than the prospect of a Rhoma Irama meltdown is the response of Habib "Hey Baby" Salim Alatas, the Head of the Jakarta Branch of the white-robed hoods, who is stressed because he did not even know that Ms. Patrick had come into the country and shot a film. It appears Hey Baby is stressed because the film producers had been so covert. Let me say this Hey Baby, Film Producers = 1 and FPI a big fat 0!


On the scary front though, Hey Baby is threatening to bring out the FPI masses in protest. This is not good. When the FPI get into large groups they have more trouble than a 14-year-old with a Hustler magazine with respect to the self-control stakes. The FPI seem to get off on violence and scaring the crap out of people.

Now, you really do have to give it to the film production house responsible for this little film coup, K2K. According to them, the negotiations to get Tera Patrick to do this here horror flick was a 16-month process that involved four or five approaches before agreement was secured. It was a hell of a job to go that long, seal the deal, shoot the film, and get Ms. Patrick out of the country without anyone being any the wiser over at FPI-ville. How do you keep a secret like this one from not being outed on Twitter or Facebook or somewhere?

Getting back to the funny. It would seem that while Tifatul Sembiring was talking up the shutting down of all porn sites coming into or operating out of Indonesia, one of the world's biggest porn stars had come into J-Town in the weeks before Ramadan and shot a film and departed again. Mr. Minister, how does that happen?

Well, it seems that the international porn actress shooting low-budget horror films will continue...it is time for the FPI to loosen up a little and let Miyabi come back and shoot her horror film!

The only decision I had with respect to this post was should the pictures be at the front-end or the back-end of the post...the back-end!

Real and Fake Tattoos...

Kat Von D vs. Rihanna...

I wonder who has the real tattoos?

My personal preference is always going to be Kat. She is an awesome artist and I love her work (and the work she has had done on herself).

LA Ink all the way!

So, Whatever Happened to Peterporn?

One thing that I have noticed of late is the lack of news about the "Peterporn" scandal that enveloped Nazriel 'Ariel' Irham, Luna Maya, and Cut Tari. Despite the lack of news, I am sure that people still remain to be titillated with developments in this celebrity sex tape affair.

Speaking of which, during my daily perusal of the Internet in search of Indonesian related news I came across this site that still had a lot of screen captures from the Ariel and Luna sex tape (and links to the tape itself). To be honest I cannot be bothered to download it. Let's face it, it is like 85MB+, and if the screen caps are anything to go by, then it has to be a pretty grainy piece of footage.

That said, I feel obligated to post some pictures of Luna Maya considering this is a post about her. You will have to decide for yourselves whether the post is a vehicle for the pictures or whether I am really interested in the legal issues of this case, and I am therefore somewhat disappointed not to have uncovered any news of substance outlining where the case is at presently.

I was tempted to title this post "Will the Real Luna Maya Please Stand Up..." but thought people might be more inclined to take a peek if "Peterporn" was in the title. I have included the link to the screen caps. If you care to visit that site, then you will see that I had a whole range of other choice images that I could have uploaded to this post and chose not to.

Krisdayanti, Oh Krisdayanti....

It seems that Krisdayanti, or KD as she is known to the masses, is apparently ready, willing, and able to get hitched, tie the knot, make it all formal, and get married! However, there are some concerns about whether her lover, Raul Lemos is quite as ready. It would seem that there is still some dispute as to whether he is divorced or married.

Krisdayanti has no problem with public displays of affection, and presumably her knickers either, and was happily kissing her 'still' married man during a press conference. I am not sure how her ex feels about the public nature of the displays, but Anang Hermansyah has been somewhat reserved in his responses to date.

Nevertheless, it seems that KD has the touch, or at least her lips do the trick, because Raul certainly calmed down a whole lot after being kissed by his mistress. Unfortunately, being asked about a supposed application for political asylum gets the Timor Leste man a little hot under the collar.

Another interesting aside is that KD has stated somewhat unequivocally that she is prepared to retire from her singing career if this is what her husband (assuming KD and Raul get married) wants. Perhaps Raul has seen these photos on the internet and decided that the stage is not the place for his wife to be?

Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex...

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Ariel and Miyabi (and Luna Maya and Cut Tari -- Possibilities)...

No, no, no!

It is not what you are thinking or what you are hoping for. There is no new tape of Ariel and Miyabi to add to the "Ariel Does Everyone He Can" collection. This is a story about Ariel getting some support from someone all to familiar with the attitudes of some Indonesians to sex and sex tapes, particularly for celebrities. Although, to be fair, Miyabi (aka Maria Ozawa) makes making sex tapes her professional calling. As far as I can tell, Ariel is still an amateur film maker and producer learning the trade.

If you want to read about Miyabi and her exploits, or lack thereof, in Indonesia, then I suggest you use the search feature for this blog. There are plenty of posts and plenty of photos, happy hunting. If you want to read a little about Ariel and his sex-capades then you will find most of them have been posted this month, so just look in the right hand column under 'July 2010', happy hunting there as well.

This post includes some 'safe' screencaps of some of the sex tapes out there at the moment. They are available over at Asia One.

Now, according to Miyabi, the moral police should not be judging Ariel or his exploits too harshly. In fact, she has used Twitter and 'tweeted' that people should not judge a book by its cover. I am not sure what she means by that, but perhaps she is referring to Ariel's sexual prowess and abilities as highlighted rather explicitly on the tapes. Or she might be referring to something else.

The best part about the Miyabi tweets is that she has expressed an interest in getting to know Ariel better. So, it seems that if things do not work out in Indonesia, there seems to be an opening in Japan that Ariel might be able to fill (no pun intended). Miyabi does think that Ariel is handsome and that "his girls" are good looking. This does sound like it has potential for a major film!

Ariel, Luna Maya, + Cut Tari...

Indonesia and porn, porn and Indonesia seem to go hand-in-hand, don't they? It never ceases to amaze me the level of hypocrisy that exists on this single issue. There are those jumping up and down waving the morality flag demanding that long jail sentences be handed down to people who find the need to film themselves doing the deed and then have this very deed find its way into the public domain. Yet, most surveys and other statistical data pegs Indonesia as one of the biggest consumers of porn on our little globe called earth.

I think Desi Anwar says it best in her opinion piece on the matter when she talks about moral censure, peeping toms and playing god. It is worth a read and you can find it here.

The realities here are that it is against the law, people know it is against the law, and they must certainly know that if they get caught then there is a pretty good chance that the relevant law enforcement agencies will go the whole nine yards to get a conviction. This seems particularly so if you happen to be a celebrity. Ariel, Luna Maya, and Cut Tari are going to find this out in the most public of ways. One arrest has been made and another two seem imminent. The Porn Law and the Criminal Code are destined to get a work out on this one.

It really is sad that this is being played out in the way that it is. There are just so many more important things that politicians could be doing rather than legislating morality. There is in a similar vein so many more important things that the police and other law enforcement agencies could be dealing with rather than a couple of starlets getting the once over by a singer who seems to be afflicted with a little bit of the "Don Juanism" condition.

However, it must be noted that none of this is surprising on any front. All of us who are either Indonesian or who have long associations with the place understand that Indonesians have an insatiable appetite for gossip, particularly celebrity gossip. Indonesian TV is testament to that. We also know that the politicians and law enforcement people often look for any good gossip in order to deflect attention from real issues that need real work and real responses to see them resolved.

Yes, the reality here is that you have a couple of sex videos, pretty tame by most accounts, and nothing to write home about. Yet, it is news that has diverted the attention of a nation, and seen the story picked up by the international press. On the importance scale, the size of Ariel's penis, his sexual prowess, or the preferred methods associated with any climax activity, ranks, at least in my opinion, a very distant last on a long line of really important issues such as the systematic attempts to dissolve the KPK from its current form, the failure of parliament to speed up the legislative process, or myriad of other issues. Then again, I am sure that it will not be too long before we are hearing that Ariel's escapades have directly contributed to an earthquake or a tsunami or some other natural disaster that befalls the innocent in Indonesia. Sad!

As a matter of priority, it is time that people thought about the things that are really important and worked towards resolutions on those fronts.

Then again, good gossip and a sex video is something that most people just need to talk about!

Women's Tennis -- The Tennis or The Fashion? (Part II)

It would seem that Maria Sharapova is not the only female tennis star running up against the fashion police. Venus Williams wore a revealing little yellow number in her most recent match. And, in a distinct difference to Ms. Sharapova, the dress did not affect her performance as she ran out a comfortable winner.

It appears that the [mini] dress was a little more revealing than some people had hoped for, and probably not revealing enough for others, and sparked a bit of debate as to whether she was wearing any underwear, knickers, panties, or whatever the undergarments are called in sport.

The photos do not leave much to the imagination. Venus is clearly wearing underwear. She is most definitely not going commando.

I guess if you win your matches easily then the press needs to drum up interest in other parts of the performance.

Rin Sakuragi -- More Japanese Porn Stars in Indonesia...

Maxima Pictures has played a perfect deception by promoting one movie with a Japanese porn star as the main character while simultaneously shooting another film with another Japanese porn star and releasing it into theatres without too much fan fare to date. Quite a trick in Indonesia.

The previous kerfuffle related to the film Kidnapping Miyabi, which was to star as herself none other than that famous Japanese porn star Maria Ozawa or as she is known in industry circles, Miyabi. However, the latest offering from Maxima Pictures stars another Japanese actress of considerable pornographic talents, Rin Sakuragi.

The film, Sister Keramas (the Hair-Washing Nurse), is billed as a horror-comedy. What is it with porn stars and horror flicks, or more to the point horror-comedy flicks? I have to say, the title of the film is not all that inspiring to me, and besides a horror-comedy flick does not seem like the perfect vehicle for Rin to showcase her obvious talents.

In a move that is sure to see the movie's popularity boosted the MUI in Samarinda has issued a fatwa declaring that the movie must not be watched by Muslims as it lacks any redeeming features. Presumably this means that it is not educative or serves no particular purpose in the public interest. This is true, of course. But, then again it is just a film and it is supposed to, in this instance entertain as opposed to educate.

But, as usual, this post lends itself to some gratuitous posting of pictures of Rin in some of her more tame poses.

Enjoy the pictures and the film if you so desire.

Luna Maya, Twitter, Paparazzi, and Prostitutes

One of the good things about not having a twitter account is that there is no temptation to vent one's frustrations and anger out into the public sphere. Perhaps on a little reflection Luna Maya might have thought twice about ranting that "infotainment are lower than prostitutes, murders!!! May your soul burn in hell!!!" I guess it is fair to say that she was not mincing any words there. But does she have a point?

To work this out one needs to consider the situation that preceded this little rant. Luna Is dating a singer of one of Indonesia's bigger bands, Ariel of Peter Pan fame. Ariel was married and has a beautiful young daughter (no where near as good looking as Will of course). There has been some suggestion that Luna is a home wrecker and it is her fault that Ariel split with his former wife. However, that was not the issue that sparked the most recent venting.

Luna's twitter account, lunmay, was shut down recently after the vent went public. Luna has apologized to her 123,952 followers for shutting down the account. I probably would not have had one in the first place if I was a star of the small and silver screens. Simply, tweeting that you are watching a movie is like a red rag to a bull and is certain to bring the paparazzi stalkers out in force.

As the story goes, Luna, Ariel, and Alleia (Ariel's daughter) went to watch the premiere of Ariel's first movie, The Dreamer (Sang Pemimpi) at EX Plaza. Now, my recollections of EX are that it was an excellent place for a little bit of celebrity spotting if that was your thing. In any event, little Alleia had fallen asleep during the movie and was being carried out by Luna.

This is where it gets really interesting. In the scramble for good photos and an interview one of the infotainment throng cracked little Alleia on the head with a camera. For a parent, even the girlfriend of a parent, this can certainly arouse some pretty heated emotions. If someone clocked Will in the head with a camera, then I would be tempted to grab the camera a clock the fella right back.

The lesson here is two-fold, Luna Maya had apparently agreed to an interview in the lobby once little Alleia was in the safety of the car. So, the gathered throng of infotainment journalists would have got their interview and obligatory shots if the had been a little more patient. the second lesson is do not vent your frustrations on Twitter no matter how justified you feel about it.

The spat, if the Twitter message can be called such, has escalated with the Indonesian Journalists Association threatening to take legal action against Luna for allegedly comparing them to prostitutes. The comparison to murderers was a little harsh, but the comparison to prostitutes probably is not so harsh.

In fact, it is probably a slur against all the prostitutes out there. Let's face it, infotainment journalists and photographers sell their assets to those willing to pay for it, similar to prostitutes. But, on a more serious note, the Indonesian Association of Journalists might also want to consider that one of their members was responsible for the assault of a child. My question would be, "does the Indonesian Association of Journalists really want to pursue this one?"

Most people might have an insatiable appetite for celebrity gossip and news, but most of these people would also balk at the idea that journalists need to assault and harm children in order to get their pound of flesh.

Maybe it is time that the government considered putting into place specific laws that protect celebrities from over-zealous infotainment journalists. And, perhaps it is also time that those that drive the market, infotainment publishers started to self-regulate what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to getting that all important shot or all important interview.

Public figures are what they are, but this does not mean that they forfeit all their rights to privacy because they have appeared in a film or worked as a presenter on TV.

It is time the infotainment industry got their collective act together and showed some class.

Megan Fox, Panties, Crotch Shot, and Criticism...

It would seem that there has been much criticism of Megan Fox lately.

But some of the more recent is that she is somewhat "slutty". However, Ms. Fox responds with the charge that the reason her detractors think and talk like that is because she is beautiful and smart.

Nevertheless, I will reserve my judgment for some other day. But, I do post these pictures for your viewing pleasure, and so that you may make a determination for yourself about whether the criticisms are warranted or not.

These photos are classed as outtakes from a recent photo shoot she did for the New York Times (NYT) Magazine.

Kidnapping Julia?

Now that it seems Maria Ozawa (aka Miyabi) has pulled the plug on coming to Indonesia to play the lead role in the film "Kidnapping Miyabi" out of fear for her life, or perhaps it's just because she cannot be bothered to go toe-to-toe with the Indonesian Ulama Council (Majelis Ulema Indonesia / MUI) or Islam Defenders Front (Front Pembela Islam / FPI). Either way, the Japanese porn star that was looking to expand her portfolio of film work into the comedy genre, Maria is now history.

So, rather than write the concept off altogether perhaps the people at Maxima Productions can come to an arrangement with a suitable Indonesian replacement. Perhaps this might be a series of suggestions of possible "stars" to take on the role that was to formerly be played by Miyabi.

It would seem that the MUI and the FPI could not possibly have a problem with a local starlet taking the lead role in an Indonesian comedy. Furthermore, it would seem that the relevant Minister would not be able to make up some lame excuse that might prevent Julia from getting a visa. Although, stranger things have happened. The film, being a comedy and all, should not run foul of the relevant authorities that are now tasked with ensuring that all Indonesian film meet exacting moral and educational standards.

First cab off the rank, so to speak, is Julia Perez. Ms. Perez has quite a following in Indonesia. At least she does in my anecdotal studies on the issue. She might not be a porn star of the magnitude of Miyabi, but nonetheless she does have the image of being a bit of a sexy rebel (unfortunately this is usually without a cause). Simply, suggestion one; "Kidnapping Julia".

I think it is a surefire hit. Just so you can see why, I have included a few "promotional" shots (all pictures freely available on the internet).

Suggestion two...stay tuned! I am thinking Jade Marcella...