The Jakaroo and the Government

Something that came into the mail box...

A Queensland jackaroo is overseeing his herd in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

The jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You work for the Australian Government', says the jackaroo.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the jackaroo. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.'

Sheep

No comments about New Zealanders and their sexual habits will be tolerated!

Wolf Whistling - An Appropriate Response?

Nah, this is a story out of New Zealand and it does not involve sheep or rugby!

The story involves and Israeli tourist and some New Zealand road workers who couldn't help themselves from giving a wolf whistle or two as this obviously good looking young tourist walked past their place of work.

It would seem that the tourist has been in NZ for a while and has been subjected to the whistles over a period of time. Perhaps this is a lesson in when enough is enough.

Anyway, after being whistled at on her way to the ATM presumably to draw some cash, she decided the best way to give these fellas a lesson was to strip off all her gear and give them an eyeful of what they were really whistling at.

Once she drew her cash she apparently put her gear back on and went on her merry way! Well, at least she would have if she had not been detained by the police.

Lucky for her she was just given a warning and told that this was inappropriate behaviour in NZ. I would have figured it probably would have been inappropriate behaviour in Israel too! That's just me though!