Welsh Cows (and Women)...

Disclaimer: If you cannot enjoy a good little chuckle at yourself or your heritage do not read on...

This is something that came into my email inbox over the past 24 hours. Some explanation may be required, then again may be not. I carry a British Passport courtesy of my Welsh heritage.

So, to all my Welsh family and friends, I hope you get a chuckle out of this like I did.


The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving milk.
The town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales quite cheaply.

They brought the cow from Wales and it was wonderful, produced
lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so
they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.

They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the
bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away.

No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away
from the bull and he was never able to do the deed..

The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who was
very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.

"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side.

"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Wales ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they
had brought the cow over from Wales .

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.

"How did you know we got the cow from Wales ?

"The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye.


"My wife is from Wales "

Child Marries The Money Lender -- Dad Now Debt Free

This is one of those moments that you just sit back in your chair, shake your head, and say WTF is wrong with the world.

Being a father of a wonderful and cute son, I cannot fathom ever contemplating trading the little fella in to pay off a debt. Maybe I do not understand absolute poverty and the absolute desperation that comes with such abject poverty, but all the same my humanity does not allow me to consider my son as a chattel that can be bought, sold, or traded.

Yet, the police in Muladi in Southern Bangladesh are investigating the reports that a 13-year-old has been married off to a 75-year-old money lender as a way of paying off a debt owed by the father to the money lender. The police have yet to unravel the alleged financial arrangements and what the transaction involved.

However, it is reported that the debt was for about 4000 taka, which is about AUD 66. The debt apparently arose when the girl's father borrowed some money from the money lender for repairs to the family home after cyclone Aila in May 2009. It is also reported that the father of the girl also borrowed a cow from the money lender.

In Bangladesh's defense, it is a criminal offense to marry a girl under 18 years of age.However, the practice of child brides is allegedly rampant among Muslims, and many parents alter the age of their daughters on official documents in order to skirt this prohibition.

As I said, I cannot imagine the desperation that would lead one to, in essence, sell their child.

Little Girl on a Plane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane. The stranger turned to the little girl and said, "let's talk. I have heard that flights go faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" and he smiles.

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic."

But let me ask you a question first," she said.

"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, grass. Yet, a dear excretes little pellets, a cow excretes flat patties, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do yo suppose that is?"

The stranger visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a moment and says, "hmmmm, I have no idea!"

To which the little girl replies, "do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you clearly do not know shit?"

The Jakaroo and the Government

Something that came into the mail box...

A Queensland jackaroo is overseeing his herd in remote territory when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

The jackaroo looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the Cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You work for the Australian Government', says the jackaroo.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the jackaroo. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for, You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.'

Interesting Facts

Did you know that it is possible to lead a cow up a flight of stairs but it is not possible to lead a cow down a flight of stairs?