Indonesian Films and Foreign Porn Stars...

Another Indonesian film and another foreign porn star. I guess it is a matter of if it ain't broke then why fix it? The reality is that it makes good business sense to get a token appearance from a foreign porn star. Let's face it, putting a foreign porn star into your film ensures that you are going to get plenty of press, free press, which is simply advertising that you could not get any other way. Well, you could pay for it, of course.

What is even more amusing than local Indonesian production houses teasing the Islamic Defenders Front (FPI) and other hard-line religious groups is that all the films that the foreign porn stars are getting to star in a comedy-horror (or is that horrific comedy) films. The latest offering is Pocong Mandi Goyang Pinggul (which is in essence a corpse wrapped in a sheet who shakes her hips while she bathes). So, the US porn star that has been offered the part, in this soon to be classic, is Sasha Grey.

The fact that Grey speaks no Indonesia is no hindrance to her playing the lead role. All of Grey's lines are in English. Grey has already filmed her part without every having to leave Los Angeles. So, the production houses, in this instance K2K Production, seem to have learned that it is often easier to shoot the porn actresses scenes overseas and then just edit them into the rest of the film that will be shot on site in Indonesia. And, if there was any need for Indonesian actors to be in the porn stars scenes then they would be flown to the overseas location.

It is expected that the film will be in Indonesian cinemas (bioskop) by 28 April 2011.

So, Sasha Grey has joined Maria Ozawa (Miyabi), Rin Sakuragi, Sora Aoi, and Tera Patrick in an ever-growing line of foreign porn stars who have crossed over from skin flicks on the "blue" screen to the silver screen.

As usual, here are some of the tamer pictures of Sasha Grey that can be pulled from the internet.

Obama, Indonesia, and Egypt...

I like Barack Obama. If I was an American I would have voted for the man. But, Mr. President, you are letting your 3 plus years in Indonesia go to your head and cloud your judgment. Indonesia is not a shining example that Egypt must follow as an example of how to transit from a dictatorship to democracy.

Perhaps you and your team need to revisit some of your perceptions of Indonesia. The reform process in Indonesia has been slow and very drawn out. There are still huge swathes of the population living on or below the poverty line. Religious fundamentalism and extremism continues to rear its ugly head. And, Mr. President, this is in spite of your claims back in November that Indonesia was a shining example of religious tolerance and pluralism in the Islamic world. Seriously Mr. President how do you think Indonesia's religious minorities such as the Ahmadis and the Christians are feeling about that in light of the recent violence that has been perpetrated against them?

Corruption is still rife in Indonesia. So rife, in fact, that it is almost an every other day occurrence. The scourge is pervasive and persistent. So much so that the president of Indonesia opts to stand idly by and claim professional distance while the primary platform of his mandate is eroded from around him by those who put him into power in the first place.

Nah, if the citizens of Egypt have the sense, and I am sure that they do, then they will not be looking towards the world's largest Muslim nation for any serious substantive pointers regarding a transition to democracy. Hopefully the Egyptian people will not suffer the same fate as Indonesia's long-suffering citizens.

On a final note, Indonesia has not successfully managed the aspirations of the people. In fact, the persistent pandering to special interests and Muslim fundamentalists has meant that extremism is on the rise. The military and police, and perhaps the whole law enforcement apparatus, are nervous. So, if success is gauged by the fact that Muslim groups are now openly canvassing the idea that it is time for the democratically elected president to resign and move out to pasture, then, yes, Mr. Obama, Indonesia is the shining example that Egypt needs to follow.

Then again, this might be why SBY is claiming responsibility for getting Hosni Mubarak to resign for the good of the Egyptian people...

What the Indonesian Government Really Means...

Religious freedom in its most basic essence, at least as I see it, is the idea that people are free to worship whatever they want and to be free from interference from others as they practice those beliefs. So, when Indonesia talks about religious freedom and a constitutionally guaranteed right to religious freedom is it really talking about this kind of pluralism or is it merely lip service and empty rhetoric? It is, as the past two days have shown, lip service and rhetoric. The government under SBY (Silly Bloody Yudhoyono or is that Stupid Buffalo Yudhoyono? I would go with the first because the second is a bad rap for all those good hard-working buffaloes out there making the lives of ordinary Indonesians better!).

The attack on the Ahmadiyah sect yesterday in Cikeusik in Banten was an example of murderous mob violence and the impotence of Indonesian law enforcement agencies to deal with this sort of extreme violence. The video is circulating on YouTube of the attack. And, apparently YLBHI has a full 30-minute version of the attack as it unfolds. The fact that a video exists is testament to one of two things: the pre-meditated planning that was involved that someone thought it necessary to videotape the incident for future reference or the nature of the communities in which we live that technology is cheap and everywhere and citizen journalism is but a mobile phone away.

SBY in his usual non-committal way whilst wearing a very serious face has suggested that there needs to be an investigation into the attack. The courageous leader then went on to say steps should be taken to prosecute anyone found to have violated the law. Uh huh! Mr. President, three men have been brutally murdered, these murders have been captured on video, so it is fair to say that numerous laws have been broken and there is video evidence of who was involved. Maybe your next step should be to get the FPI-affiliated National Police Chief you appointed to appoint Habib Rizieq to lead that there investigation! Incompetence breeds incompetence and unfortunately your administration is rife with incompetence. Even more unfortunate is that incompetence starts at the very top.

Let's face it, your first step has been to push the Coordinating Minister for Political, Legal, and Security Affairs, Djoko Suyanto (aka the "Joke") to be your point man on the government's response to this. Sadly, his sum total contribution has been to remind Ahmadis to respect a joint ministerial decision that banned them from practicing their beliefs. Simply, the government is spinning this tragedy as one that could have been avoided if the Ahmadis would just allow the government to run roughshod over their constitutionally rights.

To be fair, the Joke did start off with saying that the government condemns the violence. Yet, the rest of the statement clearly shows that the government is looking to cast blame not on a mob intent on mayhem and murder but a small band of 25 followers of a sect that is of negligible threat to the broader practice of Islam in Indonesia.

But one has to question the method to the madness that is the SBY administration. Julian Aldrin Pasha, the SBY spokesman (hell of a job that one; chief spin doctor for a fraud), has said that the president has instructed the National Police Chief, Gen. Timur Pradopo, and the Religious Affairs Minister, Surydarma Ali, to head out to the site of the violence and explain to the public what went on and why. It is a no-brainer to work out where the government is going on this one, isn't it?

Perhaps Timur can explain how "embracing" FPI is beneficial to religious tolerance in Indonesia while Ali can busy himself with explaining how a small sect of limited followers can develop into a threat that is obviously destined to cause fractures in the unity of the Republic.

Perhaps it is time for SBY to stop worrying about protesters bringing buffalo to demonstrations and start working like a buffalo himself. Sadly, the people of Indonesia have been subject to a fraud of huge proportions since 2004.

The reality is that 2014 cannot come soon enough!

The History of Horror Porn In Indonesia...

Hey, the title is a little bit of a misnomer. But, the point of this post is to highlight that comedy horror films starring foreign actresses have quite a long history in Indonesia, and it has not always been a tortured one. Or maybe it was just a matter of there not being an FPI equivalent active at the time when these earlier films were made.

A recent spate of campy Indonesian horror films starring the incredible acting talents of Japanese and US porn stars, such as Maria Ozawa (Miyabi), Rin Sakuragi, and Tera Patrick, has been controversial to say the least. However, campy horror films with foreign stars and Indonesia as a backdrop is not a new phenomenon so it seems. Most of my musings on the subject can be found here.

Read this spiel about the 1992 film Dangerous Seductress:

Fleeing her abusive boyfriend, Susan (Tonya Lawson) jumps on a plane to Indonesia, where her sister lives. There, Susan stumbles across a black-magic book of spells and accidentally raises the spirit of a 1,000-year-old witch with a thirst for blood. This campy horror flick features the special-effects makeup artistry of Steve Prouty, the master behind such films as The Cat in the Hat and the live-action How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

You can actually download the film online here.

I am wondering why the producers of this film chose Indonesia of all the countries in the world that they could of had her sister living in. Indonesia is a beautiful country, the peoples of Indonesia are warm and welcoming, but campy horror films with scantily clad women seems to make Indonesia an odd choice. But, perhaps not seeing the director is none other than H. Tjut Djalil.

I make a point of learning something new about Indonesia every single day of my life. Some of the things I learn are important and useful. Some of the things I learn get filed away in the trivia drawer of my brain. You never know when you might get a trivial pursuit question on Indonesian horror films and foreign actresses!

The film starred Amy Weber, Tonya Lawson, Kristin Anin and Joseph Cassano.

If you do decide to download the film, or if you have already seen it, then feel free to post a review of it here as a comment ;)

Dewi Persik [Not] Nude...

Another day, another FPI led controversy of insignificant proportions. The FPI and their anti-porn 'crusade' has reached another level of absurdity. The Islamic Defenders' Front has decided that a couple of topless photos of Dewi Persik are so obscene that it is time to pay her a visit at home and toss rotten eggs at her house. There is without a doubt some tossing going on, but it is not rotten eggs!

The arbiters of all things moral, the FPI, has decided to report Dewi Persik (sometimes spelled Perssik) to the police because their are nude photos of her on the internet. First things first. The FPI knows this how? Someone told them so? Or do they have a dedicated department of porn surfers in their ranks whose sole task is to surf the internet and find Indonesian porn? If the second option is the go, and apparently it is, then the FPI should be looking to contract out their services to the Ministry of [Mis]Communication and [Mis]Information. I am sure their polygamous leader and world-renowned porn expert, Tifatul Sembiring (TitS), will be most interested.

Dewi Persik's claim to fame has always been her sexy image. She has built her entire dangdut career around the concept of "if you have it, flaunt it". And, that has worked very well for her. Her personal life might not be an encyclopedia of success stories, but then again whose is? However, professionally she seems to be doing very well, thank you very much!

The FPI claim that they had to make the report because that is what the community wanted and because the Indonesian Koranic Recital Council demanded it. So, what were the Indonesian Koranic Recital Council doing looking at porn anyway? Or if they are just going on the hearsay or others, then it is about time these crotchety old men in white robes took the time to have a sneak peek at what it is they are complaining about and demanding police action on.

Seriously, Dewi Persik's breasts, no matter how perfect, are not going to damage the moral fabric of the Republic of Indonesia. Let's face it, a sustained assault on Indonesia's morality and ethics by the New Order took care of any lingering questions on that front. Quite simply, the world, and Indonesia, as we know it, is not going to end because of a topless photo of Dewi Persik appears online, particularly one where her breasts are covered by her rather long hair. Maybe if she was wearing a jilbab it would have been all OK?

There are four pictures that form the basis of the report. Three of them apparently nude and one with her kissing Ahmad Dhani. All images freely available on the internet.

This is so much a non-issue, but it does explain why there has been a run on my blog today of visitors looking for porn images of Dewi Persik. I have heard that there are a few full-frontal shots out there, but the above images will have to do for now.

Luna Maya, Ariel and Pemuda Pancasila...

So, what is the Pancasila Youth (Pemuda Pancasila) doing at the Ariel sex tape trial?

Part of the interest of watching a controversial celebrity trial is watching how the support for and against the defendant align themselves. A trial about sex tapes, and pornography generally, is certain to bring them out.

So, how do they align in the Ariel distribution of sex tapes case?

On, the one side you seemingly have the self-righteous Garis or the Islamic Reform Movement who would like to see Ariel get the death penalty for his lack of morals. To be clear, Garis is about the creation of an Islamic state. It is not about reform of Islam and the promotion of moderate Islam. So, Garis lines up fairly well with the other resident evil in Indonesia, FPI.

The Islam Defenders' Front or, as some people prefer, the white-robed thugs, also would like to see Ariel punished severely. However, there was a moment or two there where the FPI thought Ariel might want to repent and get more in touch with his Muslim spiritual side. Unfortunately, from an FPI marketing point of view, Ariel seems to have chosen a different path to redemption than the one offered by FPI. Strangely, or perhaps logically, enough these are the folks that find themselves aligned with the government through the Office of the Attorney General and the public prosecutors tasked with garnering a conviction.

On the other side, is just about everyone else. Everyone else here includes not only the long-suffering girlfriend, Luna Maya. Tere is also Ariel's daughter and extended family. And, also his dyed in the wool fans, and just about anyone with a shred of common sense. However, also lining up on this side of the equation is Pemuda Pancasila.

Having a look at the photo (thanks Kapan Lagi), it would seem that the Pancasila Youth are there in support of Luna Maya as her personal security. This is probably not a bad idea in a lot of respects. I am not a fan of Pemuda Pancasila, never have been and will never likely be. To each their own though. So, why is it not a bad idea. Well, it is not a bad idea because the police thought the potential for violent conflict at the trial in the District Court in Bandung was so great that they thought it necessary to deploy 600 armed officers. It is a good idea because the FPI and  Garis have threatened violence and intimidation. It is a good idea because this whole trial is a media circus. Therefore, in order to plow your way through the waiting throng a bevy of beefy lads is probably just the thing.

I have heard that this kind of close personal protection is not a hugely expensive deal. So, if the figures I have seen being bandied about are true then somewhere between IDR 60,000 and IDR 150,000 is a pretty good deal. It is also real value for effort for the Pancasila Youth boys as well. Nothing like a little bit of exposure in order to advance one's goals. It would seem that the Pancasila Youth are affiliated with the West Java Chapter and under the auspices of Kang Dasep.

Yet, in the big scheme of things, this is all a side show and an unhappy distraction. I would really like to know what sort of personal toll this is taking on Ariel and Luna Maya, particularly their relationship together. To be honest, it is nice to actually see the degree of loyalty that Luna Maya has. She turns up to each trial hearing and she professes her love of Ariel and her disappointment in the process, particularly the fact that charges were ever pursued and laid.

The question, if I had permission to ask one, would be "will you last?" Take that as you will. Maybe it is will you last personally? Maybe it is will you last as a couple? Maybe it refers to whether there are lasting careers to be repaired here? My personal hope is that the case runs out of steam and just dies where it stands. So, my second question follows on from the first in that sense, "where do you go from here?"

There will undoubtedly be more posts on this. I think it is time to look at a few more issues in depth and do a little bit of critical legal analysis on matters such as retroactive use of laws, legal representation, prosecutorial discretion or misconduct, and the like.

So, perhaps this story needs a narrator, maybe we should 'call him Ishmael'!

Why Are The FPI Anti-Miyabi?

The Islamic Defenders' Front are against all things Miyabi. Generally, they are against all things Miyabi for no other reason than she is a porn star. Yes, she makes films where she takes her clothes off and has sex with men and women. These films do a roaring trade on the streets of Indonesia, usually in their pirated versions.

However, the following photos clearly show that Miyabi, whose real name is Maria Ozawa, is in fact very much sympathetic to all things Indonesian. For example, Miyabi is a firm believer in law and order. She has been photographed here astride a rather large police motorbike to highlight her ongoing support for the difficult job that Indonesian police have. Especially now that it has become an offense to use one's mobile phone while driving, including using it to SMS.

In this screen capture it is obvious that Miyabi is sympathetic to the religious obligations of Muslims during and after the fasting month. So much so that she has worn a headscarf and asked her many fans to resist temptation during the fasting month. In that sense, Miyabi is very much on the same page as the FPI, right? (no need to mind that this is a really good effort on photoshop software).

Finally, Miyabi has become so much a part of Indonesian culture that the biggest noodle producer in the world, Indofood, has honoured her with her own range of instant noodles.

There are just so many more important things for Indonesians to worry about other than whether a foreign porn star comes to Indonesia to make a horror-comedy film. And, for most Indonesians, they realise this. It is too bad that the FPI have this obsession on Miyabi and such an unhealthy fixation on her every move. So, it was mildly amusing to me that the FPI made suggestions that they would be prepared to vet Miyabi's most recent effort on film, Hantu Tanah Kusir, for pornography if the producers of the film facilitated free tickets for them to do so.

Hmmm...Ho Hum!

Postscript
It seems that Firman, the commenter to this post, has been asking why I did not cite the sources. He seemed to think that I was claiming them as images that I had created myself. I did not create these images. I have now added the sources where I pulled them off the internet from. They may or may not have originated on Kaskus. I did not get the images from Kaskus.

Generally, I make it a habit of citing all sources or at least saying something lame like "all images are freely available on the internet". This post was done with a view to getting back to citing the sources at some point this evening. I wrote the post and included the images and then went out. Now that I am back home and have had a little chuckle at the to and fro about where these pictures came from, I have gone back into my files and pulled the sources. The are now cited. Hopefully, this puts Firman's mind at rest with regards to the origins of the versions of the images posted here.

Top of the evening to y'all!

FPI Wants to Study Miyabi's Latest Movie...

For the too funny category!

There are some things that are made to bring humour into our lives and alleviate the boredom that we are sometimes prone to feel. I do not intend to make light of the seriousness of the FPI threat nor the fact that they are a bunch of violence prone white-robed thugs that are more than willing to beat you into compliance with their medieval ways in their desire to see Indonesia become the Arabian Peninsula of the 7th Century. Yet, when their leader, Habib Umar Salim or "Hey Baby", comes out and says that the Islamic Defenders' Front (FPI) must first study Miyabi's first foray into Indonesian horror films to determine if it is pornography, is extremely amusing.

The image of a group of white-robed thugs watching Miyabi while their hands are strategically placed under their flowing robes so as not to embarrass themselves should make even the hardest anti-FPI person chuckle. The whole idea of having to watch the film is reminiscent of the FPI's claims to only be buying the Indonesian version of Playboy Magazine to confirm their suspicions that it was pornographic and not because they were intent on sticking the pages together so no one else could read such filth.

Hey Baby led his goons to the Maxima offices to protest the imminent arrival of Miyabi. Miyabi is supposedly heading to Indonesia to promote her film, Hantu Tanah Kusir. Maybe she has already landed in Bali or somewhere and thus leaving the FPI clutching nothing but their ...! Or maybe the whole idea that Miyabi is coming (no pun intended) to Indonesia is nothing more than a classic controversial marketing campaign.

The FPI definition of pornography is any film that includes kissing scenes with only thin clothing separating the kissers. Obviously, Hey Baby has not heard the term "Clothes Sex", you know, the simulated sex scenes while one is fully clothed (I am sure there is a much coarser word than sex though, I wonder what it is?). Hey Baby, not to be deterred and becoming somewhat emboldened by all the attention, went on to state that striptease scenes are pornographic. A striptease scene might include any scene where the actors (presumably the female ones) are wearing hot pants or skirts that do not come below the knee. If Miyabi's film includes any scenes like those ones described then it satisfies the FPI's definition of a film that is pornographic and morally reprehensible.

Strangely enough, according to Detik.com, the FPI protest did not eventuate because they did not get a permit from the police in time. If only the FPI were that law-abiding all of the time.

Miyabi Heading to Jakarta: Will She or Won't She?

Miyabi is supposedly headed to Jakarta and will be landing some time this evening Jakarta-time. This is "supposedly" because the proof of the pudding in this case is seeing the porn star coming through the gates of the immigration checkpoint and out into the swarming masses of her fans and her haters at Soekarno-Hatta International Airport.

The cynical would automatically see that this is a Maxima stunt designed to generate a whole lot of free publicity for the film that they have made that stars Maria Ozawa. Ozawa is known more popularly in Indonesia by her working name, Miyabi. Miyabi is a legend in Indonesia. Anecdotally, at least, Miyabi is Indonesia's most popular porn star. Her status as a true legend of her genre means that she is a true legend among the white-robed thugs of the Islamic Defenders' Front (FPI) as they claim that they will do anything that they can to ensure that she no longer has the opportunity to harm the youth of Indonesia with her filth and immorality.

If Miyabi does come to Indonesia to promote her most recent film, the very non-pornographic Hantu Tanah Kusir, then it is likely that it will be done with much less fanfare. This is because wherever she goes she is likely to be targeted by the FPI. Quite simply the producers of the film from Maxima will be outlaying more on security than they would have on putting the film together.

It is amusing to see that the producer of the film, Ody Mulya Hidayat, says he did not think that there would be this much controversy about Miyabi's return to promote the film. Yeah, right! He was expecting this controversy. It is, plain and simple, a crass attempt to milk as much attention as he can from the Miyabi phenomenon.

The reality is that Miyabi visiting Indonesia does not breach any specific laws and regulations with respect to immigration. Provided Maxima has completed all the necessary paperwork and the immigration department has signed off on it, then she is free to travel in Indonesia.

The perversely funny here is that if the FPI pulled their collective heads in, then the Miyabi visit is likely to pass without too much fanfare. The film she is appearing in is not a pornographic film. Her many Indonesian fans are going to be bitterly disappointed in the lack of skin that they get to see. The film was not destined to be a blockbuster. The hope was that the FPI would get involved and make this film a water-cooler discussion point and by default boost ticket sales as people went along to see what all the fuss was about.

The other perversely funny on this topic is that the majority of her fan base in Indonesia are followers of Islam.

The fact that the FPI are beside themselves over a non-pornographic film serves to highlight how little real controversy is out there for them to protest about.

Ho hum...

Miyabi Makes Her Indonesian Horror Film Debut...

The poor old FPI and any other white-robed thugs that have a problem with foreign porn actresses making horror films in Indonesia must be a little annoyed once again. It seems that the hardliners have missed Maria Ozawa, or Miyabi as she is affectionately known in Indonesia, slipping into the Republic of Indonesia to film a horror film, The Ghost of Tanah Kusir (Hantu Tanah Kusir).

Tanah Kusir is a public cemetery in South Jakarta if one is interested.

Funnily enough it is not only the FPI that have had the wool pulled over their eyes on this one. The majority of the promotional material for the film does not even make mention of Miyabi's role or the fact that she is even in it. But, there is no doubting she is there. Miyabi makes her grand entrance into the film about halfway through it. The rest of the film, I am reliably told, is a procession of Miyabi chest (or is that breasts) shots.

The same production house, Maxima, that was set to film the original foray of Miyabi into Indonesian horror / comedy (does that make the film comically horrific or horrifyingly comical) films. Unfortunately, for a lot of Indonesian Miyabi fans, Kidnapping Miyabi, did not make it into production out of fears that the FPI would violently seek to disrupt filming.

It would appear that the standard operating procedure will now be to sneak the controversial actresses into Indonesia, shoot the film, send the actresses home, and then release the film. Tera Patrick and Rin Sakuragi were recent porn stars to make their film debuts in Indonesia in this way. This is certain to raise the ire of the FPI as they would have been denied a soap-box opportunity to harp about the dangers of using porn actresses in non-pornographic films. This means that the only avenue of protest available to the FPI is to protest the screening of any film involving a foreign porn star. This ensures a stack of free publicity for the film, both in Indonesia and abroad, and guaranteeing success for the producers of the film.

Marketing genius or what?

Anyways, here are some additional Miyabi / Maria Ozawa images. Yes, I know you are expecting them.

Pamela Anderson and the FPI...

Is it just me? Or does the FPI have a problem with any woman that does not wear the veil or at the very, very, very least dress modestly from head to toe in a manner that they find modest? And, since when has the helping the victims of disaster been haram or prohibited under Islam?

Some of Pamela Anderson's best days are behind her at with respect to looking super good (note to self...time to watch some Baywatch re-runs). But, all the same, she still is pretty much smoking at 43. Besides, Hugh Hefner reckons she still has enough left in the tank to do a Playboy cover. Herein lies the FPI problem with Pamela Anderson. Ms. Anderson has decided that she is going to donate USD 25,000 to a charity that provides water filters in disaster areas. This charity, Waves for Water, work all over the world.

The FPI in their infinite [lack] of wisdom have decided that they need to vocalise their opposition to the donation, and particularly the fact that it is likely to be used in Indonesia. The FPI penchant for porn and its special liking of Playboy is well known. I have always figured that most FPI members are anti-Playboy because it gives them an excuse to go out and collect playboy magazines presumably to stock up on them as "burning material" for later protests (or just to read them and stick the pages together and then burn them!). Nevertheless, getting back on track, the FPI has decided that because the money comes from Pamela Anderson, and is the product of a porn shoot, that the money is haram.

I always thought it was possible to make an utterance or two and then get on with the job so to speak.

Habib "Hey Baby" Umar Salim of the Jakartan Branch of FPI has determined that accepting money from a Playboy shoot is tantamount to asking God to strike Indonesia down with another disaster. The logic being, at least in the mind of Hey Baby, is that porn is a much bigger challenge for Indonesia than any of these natural disasters combined. Porn is so big a problem that it is better to reject the Pamela Anderson donation and allow children, along with their parents, to die from a lack of clean water. But, hey, God will undoubtedly be pleased with your efforts Hey Baby.

If Hey Baby had any brains he would realise that God would not be fooled by this sinner, Pamela Anderson, at judgment day and would not allow her to try and claim mitigating circumstances that the donation should buy her way into paradise. But, Hey Baby might also recognise that the call is one that God gets to make and not him.

However, it would seem that Hey Baby's bigger grievance is that the media is not reporting that the FPI has opened an aid centre for the victims of the Mount Merapi eruption. Hay Baby is whining that the media only writes bad stuff about the FPI like they kill people. Well, you and your white-robed thug buddies do go around beating people up and destroying their property because they do not subscribe to your brand of Islam so the media does have a right to report that, don't they? And, it might well be newsworthy that your opposition to this donation, and the good that it will bring through access to clean water, is tantamount to killing people.

If the hat fits...

And. lucky last...is this the money shot?

Ariel and the FPI...

Amongst all the serious and tragic news today of earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions in Indonesia, there is this piece of "news". It appears Nazriel 'Ariel' Irham of Peterpan (aka Peterporn) fame has decided to repent and make his peace with God after his recent escapade into the sex-capade business of amateur porn.

There is nothing wrong with people deciding that their previous ways were in error and seeking to make their peace with whoever they think they must. But, the very idea that you would be seeking out the FPI to repent your sins and make everything swell with God again is funny in the most perverse kind of a way. Although, I am pretty sure that in order to repent, one must first acknowledge and admit to their "sins".

So, does this mean that Ariel is ready to say "Sorry Cut for not getting around to this sooner as I have been too busy trying to save my own arse, but yes that is us in that sex video, and you were good! In fact, one of the best that I ever had. Can I just say, your husband is a lucky man!"

The very idea that one would seek out these white-robed thugs parading as the enforcers of God's laws is sure to be a source for further embarrassment.

However, if the news in The Jakarta Globe is accurate then it would seem that it is Ariel and his team reaching out to the FPI in order to make things 'right'. The FPI visited Ariel in Kebonwaru Prison in Bandung today, and specifically with Hilman Firdaus. Hilman is, of course, interested in this development. If for no other reason than it provides some legitimacy to the FPI as being important in matters of religion rather than just promulgators of violence.

Yet, hearing it Hilman style is a little scary because he seems to think that if Ariel wants it, then the FPI is williong to help set him on the straight and narrow, while simultaneously helping Ariel and Peterpan regain their former glory.

The mind boggles at the thought of how the FPI envisages 'helping' Ariel and Peterpan regain their previous days of glory.

SBY Having Another Buffalo Moment...

It would appear that the very considerable resources of the National Police Force of the Republic of Indonesia are being brought together to keep people's legitimate rights to protest at bay. Funnily enough in the democracy that Indonesia claims to be, there are those that don't see eye-to-eye with the president on his performance.

In order to make the president see that he is doing a below average job they plan to protest on 20 October 2010 to commiserate the first 12 months of the second Yudhoyono term.

A previous protest was notable for the reaction of the ever and over-sensitive president. One of the protesters thought the best visual way to articulate his dissatisfaction about the job the president was not doing, namely: being president, was to bring along his buffalo and paint SiBuYo on the side of it.

There is little doubting what this protesters intention was. However, this, in my opinion, is a poor rap for the buffalo. After all, the buffalo is worth something and actually pulls their weight and does some work.In fact, the buffalo earns its keep. Whereas, in contrast SBY, is just big, fat and lazy, except when it comes to making albums and inserting inappropriate questions into the civil service exams!

But, to ensure that the super-thin-skinned president is not the subject of ridicule and offense. The National Police have reminded protesters they are not to bring animals to the protest, particularly animals that will cause offense. This is presumably for public safety and law and order concerns. As I said, bad rap for the buffalo.

Maybe the RMS should just start bringing buffaloes to the airport...it seems that Pak Presiden is just as scared of buffaloes as he is court cases.

Getting to Know Your President: A Question of Civil Service Exams...

There are two things that are consistently getting me into that shaking my head mode and muttering, "are you serious?" Yes, the FPI and SBY. Funny how each prefer to go by the acronym rather than the full version of their monikers. I wonder if their are any other similarities or like interests?

Anyway, this is not a post about why the FPI and SBY are equally bad for Indonesia. This post is to focus only on SBY.

The recent Prospective Civil Servant Entrance Exam (CPNS - Calon Pegawai Negeri Sipil) was held at the Ministry of Trade recently. It was different from all previous exams in one very noticeable way. It included a question on SBY and his musical talents. Specifically, the question asked, "which of the following songs was on President SBY's third album?" It was multiple guess with A, B, C, or D as your choices. So, if you are like me and think the President cannot sing for crap, then you still had a chance at guessing the right answer.

If you are shaking your head and going WTF is this all about, then you are probably not alone. I am still smiling at the thought of the question making it onto the exam in the first place. I am also chuckling at the prospect of how the president might answer the questions that will undoubtedly be asked about the appearance of the question in an exam of this kind.

The Minister of Trade has gone on the record saying that she was not aware of the question being there, in fact the Minister needs to check and confirm first. It will be interesting if this is just a case of a candidate wanting to cause a bit of a firestorm of bad press. But, I guess time will tell.

However, if the question is there, then this begs the question, "how did it get there?"

Is the appearance of the question in a civil service exam a result of some good old fashioned corruption, collusion, and nepotism? Or is it just a simple case of a low-level employee in the Ministry of Trade finding something to amuse themselves with now that "all" the porn sites have been shut down?

Whatever the case may be, this is just a little bit more bad press for the president to deal with. The president seems to be in a bit of a downward spiral, at least in the sense of being in a state of constant spin in order to maintain his personal popularity. My guess is that history will be less kind to him and his legacy will be a non-legacy. A president that did two terms and achieved well below expectations.

I would have said "C". When in doubt it is always "C", isn't it?

Ho hum...

What? The FPI Have A Problem With Tera Patrick...

The FPI make it too easy for me to find reasons to post pictures of porn stars. The fact that none of the pictures I post are technically porn in any other sense than the FPI one, it is still worth writing about the FPI and the free advertising they provide for porn movies and porn stars.

The beauty of this latest spat is that the FPI have not been the erstwhile premature ejaculators they have been in the past. These white robed hoodlums missed the boat on this one until after the horse bolted. It sort of reminds me of that nasty little phrase that one might hear in their youth of "have you cum yet?", to only hear in response "I have already been! What's holding you up?" Boys, Miss Patrick has been and gone or came and went, whichever you prefer.

The film is scheduled for release on 14 October 2010. This, if I am not mistaken, is tomorrow. Hmmm, so how did Ms. Patrick get into the country shoot the film and get out again without anyone knowing?

I am not quite sure what the attraction is between local movie producers, horror movies and international porn stars outside of the controversy and free advertising that the FPI and other hardliners are likely to bring. Nevertheless, a film titled Rintihan Kuntilanak Perawan (or the Moans of a Virgin Ghost) is undoubtedly going to pique the interest of the white-robed initiators of violence in the name of Islam (aka embarrassment plus plus).

The title gets the imaginative juices flowing in trying to work out exactly why a virgin ghost is moaning anyways. And, how do we know she is a virgin? And, how could Tera Patrick ever play a virgin? Maybe she is not in the lead role. Can the other stars, Catherine Wilson or Angelique, of this horror flick play virgins either? Just thinking that Angelique has a role is too funny for words. I wonder how her former husband, the King of Dangdut, Mr. Rhoma Irama, is handling the good news.

But even funnier than the prospect of a Rhoma Irama meltdown is the response of Habib "Hey Baby" Salim Alatas, the Head of the Jakarta Branch of the white-robed hoods, who is stressed because he did not even know that Ms. Patrick had come into the country and shot a film. It appears Hey Baby is stressed because the film producers had been so covert. Let me say this Hey Baby, Film Producers = 1 and FPI a big fat 0!


On the scary front though, Hey Baby is threatening to bring out the FPI masses in protest. This is not good. When the FPI get into large groups they have more trouble than a 14-year-old with a Hustler magazine with respect to the self-control stakes. The FPI seem to get off on violence and scaring the crap out of people.

Now, you really do have to give it to the film production house responsible for this little film coup, K2K. According to them, the negotiations to get Tera Patrick to do this here horror flick was a 16-month process that involved four or five approaches before agreement was secured. It was a hell of a job to go that long, seal the deal, shoot the film, and get Ms. Patrick out of the country without anyone being any the wiser over at FPI-ville. How do you keep a secret like this one from not being outed on Twitter or Facebook or somewhere?

Getting back to the funny. It would seem that while Tifatul Sembiring was talking up the shutting down of all porn sites coming into or operating out of Indonesia, one of the world's biggest porn stars had come into J-Town in the weeks before Ramadan and shot a film and departed again. Mr. Minister, how does that happen?

Well, it seems that the international porn actress shooting low-budget horror films will continue...it is time for the FPI to loosen up a little and let Miyabi come back and shoot her horror film!

The only decision I had with respect to this post was should the pictures be at the front-end or the back-end of the post...the back-end!