A White Man in a Black Mask...

Perhaps the demand for ever better special effects and the rapidly improving skills of special effects practitioners will give rise to ever more frequent dilemmas for law enforcement, and perhaps the community as a whole. I recently wrote about a young Chinese man who donned a real life face mask that made him look like an old man as he boarded a flight to Canada. Another case of real life facial masks being used to perpetrate crimes has come to light in the USA.

Conrad Zdzierak is a white man. He robbed four banks, a credit union, and a pharmacy while wearing a mask. Not any ordinary mask, but the very real looking face mask of a black man. In fact the mask was so lifelike that the police initially arrested a black man for the crimes that Zdzierak committed while in disguise. The fact that a black man was arrested is not an indictment on police, rather it is testament to the quality of the mask that the company, SPFX Masks, produced. This is especially the case when one considers that the mother of the black man that the police initially arrested confirmed that it was her son when police showed her some CCTV footage of the crimes being committed.

However, being fortunate to have the mind that I do, one that allows me to come up with some outrageous possibilities, I came up with this scenario.

Obviously SPFX Masks have some real talent when it comes to creating masks. So, imagine that they create an Osama bin Laden mask. This mask is very lifelike. Someone buys the mask. Maybe for Halloween or just as a joke among friends. The US wants Osama bad, so bad in fact that they are happy to have the man "dead or alive". So, imagine this, our Osama bin Laden lookalike is walking down the road to his Halloween party. The police see him and recognise that they have a really big scoop on their hands. They ask Osama to stop, at which point Osama gives them the bird; the old one-finger salute, and then lifts up his robes to reveal some aluminium foil strapped to his body. The police shoot him dead.

Let's face it, no one seems to know where Osama is. So, he could conceivably be wandering the streets of middle America, right? Therefore, is it the fault of the lifelike mask wearing Halloween party-goer for being silly enough to wear the face of the most wanted man in the world?

The special effects technology is great for entertainment value, but it is also generating some serious headaches for law enforcement as they seek to maintain law and order, particularly with regard to national security and terrorism.

The other scenario that I thought of while I was writing about lifelike Osama bin Laden masks was, perhaps Saddam Hussein is not dead after all. Maybe it was just some unfortunate soul forced to wear a lifelike Saddam mask and take the plunge on his behalf. Maybe Saddam is currently enjoying life somewhere in the Caribbean or South America.

And...For USD700 You Can Be Old and White Too!

This is interesting.

A young Chinese man goes internet shopping and buys a silicon mask for USD700 or thereabouts. The mask is that of an old white man. He puts it on and gets on an Air Canada plane from Hong Kong bound for Vancouver. It surely is not that simple, right?

To board an international flight surely this young man must have had a passport or two. One passport with a happy snappy of his assumed persona of the old white fellow and his "real" identity as a young man in his twenties. In any event, he undisguised himself mid-flight and someone noticed and the authorities were waiting for him on arrival on Canadian soil. He was promptly arrested and equally prompt was a subsequent claim for asylum.

The implications are pretty big on this one. Why haven't the "terrorists" been using this idea before? Or have they? Perhaps Osama Bin Laden is not holed up in the mountainous regions of Pakistan, but living happily in New York City with the aid of a good silicon mask.

The very idea puts a severe dent in the idea that people should legitimately be concerned of travelling on flights with Muslims who are dressed in full Muslim garb (whatever that might be). There was an instance of this just recently where Juan Williams was fired by NPR and then hired by Fox after suggesting he was concerned in this way.

The reality is that the old white fellow you are sitting next to on your next flight might be none other than Mohammed al-Zawahiri or the main man, Osama Bin Laden or some yet to be identified serial killer or warlord from some despotic regime somewhere. Why, it might even be Barack Obama going undercover in the international interest to test out security procedures.

In all seriousness though, this case highlights that very simple adage "where there is a will, there is a way".

I recall reading somewhere last week that European airline operators were complaining about the over-zealous nature of US flight security measures. I think that the x-ray of shoes was one concern. However, perhaps now passengers aside from having to volunteer for full body scans or the almost porn kind will now also have to allow someone to have a gentle tug on their face to make sure that it does not come off prior to boarding a flight to anywhere. The beauty of Homeland [in]Security.

So, next time someone wearing a uniform at the airport asks to have a pull of your nose before issuing a boarding pass, remember they are just wanting to make sure that your face is really your face. May Michael Jackson be resting in peace, but could you have imagined what might have transpired there?

Ho hum...

Disguised?

This most certainly is one of those moments where you stretch back in your chair and smile. I don't know that this is the worst disguise ever, but it has to be close. If you could send people to jail for being hopelessly stupid then these two gentlemen, Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, might just get the nod.

They tried to break into an apartment complex and failed. There are lots of people who try to commit crimes and do not succeed. However, I am not sure I have ever heard of anyone drawing on their own disguise with a marking pen. Yet, the icing on this cake is that it was a permanent marker.

My experience with permanent markers is that if they get on your skin then they are really difficult to get off. So, to colour in your face with a permanent marker is absurd, absurdly funny that is.

The excuse for the embarrassment is likely to be that they were drinking heavily and were intoxicated. Yep, the last time I had a few beers though, I do not recall hatching a plan to burglarize a place and disguise my face with a Zorro mask inked on in permanent black marker.

Swine Flu, Tourists, Face Masks, and Indonesia

The Minister of Health (and Conspiracy Theories and Other Crazy Ideas) has decided that all tourists from swine flu affected countries must where face masks for the first three days after their arrival in Indonesia. It seems that the fact that 50% of the eight cases of swine flu or the A(H1N1) virus confirmed in Indonesia has tipped the scales in favour of all foreigners from all swine flu affected countries being required to don the face masks. This is presumably even the case if the incoming tourist successfully negotiates the thermal scanner (photo).

According to the Minister, this is a precautionary measure in order to prevent human-to-human transmission. Yep, I can see it now, the tourists from swine flu affected countries in the late night entertainment areas of Legian and Kuta painting the town red in their designer face masks. The question though is really one of enforcement. And, as the Minister of Conspiracy Theories points out, it is going to be a little hard to enforce the requirement for people wanting to go swimming, or perhaps eating, or drinking, or myriad of other pursuits that would undoubtedly be hampered by the mask.

The government recognizes that if it were to jump up and down in order to show that it was serious about this, then there could be a spanner thrown into the works of the slow but sure recovery of the tourism industry in places like Bali. Hence, there is no penalty if people choose not to wear the mask after they are given it at the airport.

This begs the question, "Why bother?"

This is especially so when the new "policy" is still unfunded and the Department of Health is still trying to ascertain where the funds are coming from to buy the masks that are going to be handed out for free. The true Indonesian entrepreneurial spirit would have been to tag an extra USD 5 on each visa on arrival to cover the cost of the mask. Let's face it, it is still cheaper to pay the fiver than it is to stand on principle and turn around and board the next flight back to wherever it is that you came from.

This brilliant policy initiative came out of a meeting chaired by the Coordinating Minister of His Own Family's Welfare (oops Peoples' Welfare), Aburizal Bakrie, who said the funds would be made available for the purchase of the masks.

This also begs a question, "Aren't there more important matters that require immediate funding?" It also possibly begs a second question, "When does the Minister think that his family companies and the government will get around to finalizing the Lapindo matter, particularly the outstanding payments to those affected by that disaster?"

Funnily enough, the Health Minister has indicated that she is particularly concerned by the huge numbers of Australian tourists that invade Bali annually. I noted in my previous post on swine flu that it was a perfect scenario for the doomsdayers, conspiracy theorists, and Commission I of the DPR to ratchet up the idea that swine flu was another attempt by foreigners to covertly usurp Indonesian sovereignty through the spread of disease.

This really is a case for the "Why Bother?" files. It is such a waste of money, particularly when the money can be better spent elsewhere.