Heath Ledger and Mary-Kate Olsen

The Heath Ledger story seems unlikely to fade away in the near future, particularly as The Dark Knight does a roaring trade at the box office. It is also likely to continue as the buzz for the first posthumous Oscar since 1976 (Peter Finch for Network, if I am not mistaken) builds. The story will also continue as long as Mary-Kate Olsen maintains her silence, refuses to talk to investigators, and asks for immunity from prosecution if she does talk.

The facts that we do know is that the masseuse that found the unconscious or dead heath Ledger made calls to Mary-Kate before she called 911, we also know that the masseuse called again after paramedics arrived, and we know that Mary-Kate sent around her personal bodyguards. Mary-Kate's lawyer is maintaining that the starlet has told investigators all that she knows and therefore any further questioning is unwarranted and unnecessary.

It would seem that the investigators do not believe this and have gone so far as to obtain a subpoena. The subpoena by its very nature will compel Mary-Kate to testify before a grand jury if one is convened. The fact that investigators have gone to the trouble of getting subpoenas would suggest that a grand jury will be called. But law is a game in that sense and the threat of a grand jury is like shaking a tree and seeing what falls out.

It would seem that the investigators into the unnatural death of Ledger suspect that at least some of the drugs in the lethal cocktail of drugs that killed him were illegally obtained. The suggestion is that the prescriptions used were forged. The interest in Mary-Kate and the desire for investigators to follow-up with her could infer certain things but the allegations where these inferences are likely to lead have not been made public. Yet, most people should be able to join the dots on this one.

The claim for immunity immediately suggests that there is some degree of illegality involved that requires the maker of the statements, in this case Mary-Kate, needs protection from. I would have thought pleading the Fifth might have been an option in terms of not incriminating yourself at all. It is also interesting because Mary-Kate is the only person who investigators have wanted to speak to who has been reluctant to talk or who has claimed a need for immunity to be granted before speaking. Nevertheless, the other possibility is that all publicity is good publicity and drawing this thing out maximizes exposure.

There are drawbacks to maximum exposure like that the more coverage this gets the more it draws people out of the woodwork and then allows the investigators to put together a chronology of events even without Mary-Kate's testimony.

I enjoy watching the legal machinations unfold. After all it is my thing! My expertise is in this area.

Maybe there will be updates on this as things unfold or unravel, depending on which side of the fence you stand!

Divorce Proofing Your Marriage

Maybe I should change the focus of my blog into counselling the masses. This would be a freeby to the world so to speak as I have no counselling qualifications and right now I am ripping off other people's stuff and cutting and pasting it here (with credit of course).

My point though is that some of the stuff that I am reading is not rocket science and would not seem to be all that dependent on having a university qualification or some other qualification. Personal experience and observation should be more than enough experience for me to get this counselling gig down pat.

Anyway, surfing the ever-expanding www I stumbled across these pearls of wisdom. It was written by Caroline Presno who seems to have a Doctorate in Education and another qualification that has the letters P.C.C. It might help those of you that are not yet hitched and it might make the rest of us think, "why didn't I think of that before?"

Happy Reading!

1. Get married after about two years of courtship:
Researchers say that if a couple's courtship is average in length -- around two years, four months -- there is less chance of divorce. Researchers say that if a couple's courtship is average in length -- around two years, four months -- there is less chance of divorce. Couples who rush to the altar, as well as couples who drag their feet to the altar, have an increased risk for divorce. "The couples who are slowest to marry tend to be the quickest to split," according to Ted Huston, Ph.D.

2. Rethink living together:
Living together before marriage is more popular than ever and it stands to reason that you might want to take someone for a "test drive" around your living space before you commit to marriage. However, research doesn't support this. Couples who live together before marriage have a higher risk of divorce.

3. Wait until you are a little older to marry:
Statistics show that if you marry after age 25, your marriage will have a much better chance.

4. Talk about the big issues before you get married:
How many kids do you both want? How will you handle your finances? It's important to clarify these questions before the honeymoon. Premarital education or counseling can help with this. Studies show that those who go through this process have higher levels of marital satisfaction and more commitment to their spouses.

5. You can argue, just don't let it turn into World War III:
Arguing is a natural part of a relationship and in and of itself does not predict divorce. However, the way you argue does. Researchers Gottman and Levenson say they can predict divorce by watching how negative a couple gets with each other, as well as how many constructive, positive interactions they have during an argument. Things to avoid when arguing: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Learn to tone down heated arguments with humor and a few kind words.

6. Do stuff together:
Yes, you both need to have your own individual interests. However, if you take this too far you may start to lead separate lives and grow apart, like if he spends every Saturday golfing and she spends every Saturday swimming. Learn to reconnect by taking part in a hobby or activity that you both enjoy. Also important: Take time for intimacy even when it seems like you don't have a minute to spare. Forms of intimacy like massage and cuddling are wonderful ways to bring you closer together.

7. Share the chores:
If one person does the majority of the housework while the other slacks off, that's a recipe for divorce.

8. Be as polite to each other as you are to strangers:
Sometimes we treat the people we love most with the least amount of respect without even realizing it. Ask yourself, "Do I treat friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and even strangers nicer than I do my significant other?" Take time to give each other compliments and remember to say "please" and "thank you" rather than barking orders or nagging. Take time to give each other compliments and remember to say "please" and "thank you" rather than barking orders or nagging.

9. Have issues? Get help!
Is one of you suffering from depression? Does one of you have substance abuse issues? Has one of you cheated? If you don't address these types of issues individually as well as a couple, you dramatically increase your divorce risk. Take steps to decrease your divorce risk now by addressing these issues through counseling and other means!

10. Marry someone who wants to be married:
It seems obvious, but it's really not, since so many people ignore it. If you have to beg, cajole, manipulate, and hurl ultimatums at someone before they will agree to marry you, common sense says they probably don't want to be married. If you think something is going to change when you get that ring on their finger, you're wrong. Don't set yourself up for failure. Find somebody who wants the same things you want!

Poland, Divine Sex, the Karma Sutra, and the Catholic Church

A Polish Friar by the name of Ksawery Knotz has become a bit of a guru in advising couples, married of course, in how to practice divine sex. Now, I am guessing divine sex would climax with a divine orgasm for both parties at the same time. But I am just guessing because I am not the guru on this one, Friar Knotz is!

It goes without saying that this assistance has seen the good Friar dubbed the "High Priest of Catholic Karma Sutra", nice title if one can earn it I suppose. The Friar is a member of the Order of Friars Minor Capuchin in Stalowa Wola, southern Poland.

The sessions with Friar Knotz start out with the need to ensure that couples are praying to God for a good and happy sex life. I reckon I would become a believer if such a prayer were possible and was granted. Unfortunately, for me the sex life is good and happy, but if I were in desperate or dire straits then perhaps a trip to Poland might be warranted.

If you are wondering about the popularity of Friar Knotz's services, then you should probably make a booking as the Friar and his service are fully booked for the next 12 months. That's right, 12 full months!

Since 2000 the Friar has had more than 3000 couples enjoy the trip into sex and spirituality through his workshops. These sessions have the approval of the Church and many therapists are also praising the work that the Friar is doing.

According to Friar Knotz, "If you believe in God, then you believe God is involved in life, in love, marriage and in sex and sexuality -- it seems natural to talk about sex to remove taboos and the label of sinfulness."

The Church is not an institution that you would associate with the open and frank discussions on sex and love making that the Friar's workshops are sure to entail. However, the Friar sticks to the good ol' Catholic doctrine of marriage being a union between a man and woman, and that the sexual relationship is one which springs from this union.

The Friar has published a book and maintains a website. The book "The Act of Marriage" and the website a "Chance to Meet" (http://www.szansaspotkania.net/) are in Polish and English. This means that a non-Polish speaker like myself can get online and enjoy the Friar's graphic depictions of divine sex.

I am not quite sure how the Friar knows this considering he has taken a vow of celibacy, but his book includes a passage titled "theology of the orgasm". In this passage the Friar likens an orgasm to an experience similar to meeting God. How he knows this I do not know. Yet, I could not imagine anything more embarrassing than meeting God and then climaxing on his sandals, but once again what do I know of these things?

The fact that the Friar is celibate should not mean that what he has to say and how he helps people is irrelevant because he does not have the "hands on experience" of sex to be able to discuss it authoritatively. This is like saying a shrink cannot counsel the psychologically challenged among us who rape and kill because they do not have the hands on experience of being a rapist and killer.

I would agree with those that say, if people think that the services provided by the Friar work for them then, why not?

"Bucket List"

Space travel! This one is for my bucket list! It will only become a reality if I get a better paying job or the lottery gods shine on me and I then win the big one!

Nevertheless, the idea is one worth pursuing. I hope that I live long enough to see the price tag come down from USD 200,000 per ticket to something a little more respectable. To say you have been in space and by definition a space traveller would be a lot of fun. How much would I be prepared to pay? Depends on how much my better half would let me pay, I guess!

But space travel for the average traveller is a reality. Average traveller in this sense being a traveller not trained to be an astronaut! With the launch of Sir Richard Branson's new Virgin Galactic Line of "space" craft the possibility of a 2010 launch date seems to be ever so more real.

The ride in space might only be a couple of minutes in the initial stages of this kind of travel but you still spend time in space, so that should count for something.

Anyways, my bucket list seems to be growing more quickly than I can tick things off. The clock is ticking so it is time I pulled the proverbial finger out and got cracking!

What Makes A Killer?

This is a story out of Canada and involves a bus, 37 passengers, one of whom is a killer, and one is a victim. What makes this story interesting is the location of the crime and the complete randomness that seems to permeate it.

The killing was a frenzied attack that resulted in multiple stab wounds, a beheading, and the allegations of flesh eating. The allegation of flesh eating would seem to be true as it was made by a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer who was on the scene at the time and relaying information back to other officers.

The RCMP have since issued a statement saying it was aware that the radio transmission had been leaked to the Internet and said that the tape itself was "operational police communications and not meant for public consumption". I am not sure that a pun was intended here.

RCMP officers responded to a call on a remote stretch of the TransCanada Highway near Portage La Prairie, Manitoba, after reports of a killing on a Greyhound bus travelling from Edmonton, Alberta to Winnipeg, Manitoba were reported.

The killer, Vince Weiguang Li, is alleged to have killed Tim McLean. An official identification has not been released but friends and family of McLean have identified him as the victim. McLean's death was as violent as it appears random. Li hacked off McLean's head after a frenzied stabbing attack that involved dozens of stab wounds. Witnesses are saying that they were alerted to the attack by a blood-curdling scream, presumably from the McLean. Most of the passengers were sleeping or watching a movie having just re-boarded the bus after a short break.

What is truly weird about the attack is that the alleged killer, Li, is being spoken about as a kind down to earth man without any previous indications that he was prone to this kind of violent rage. By all accounts he was a simple paper delivery man looking to better his lot in life.

I wonder what makes a seemingly nice person all of a sudden turn into a violent flesh-eating killer?

This is no doubt worthy of further research.

The Organ Trade

The organ trade is alive and well in Indonesia. It is being facilitated locally for international buyers and Singapore is a destination of choice. The beauty of Singapore is that it is close, it is clean, the hospitals are good, and doctors are turning a blind eye in some instances to the more intricate technicalities such as whether the donor and the recipient are truly related.

This story (based on a story in the Straits Times 27 July 2008) comes out of Galang which is about 70 kms from Medan in North Sumatera. It seems that there is no shortage of willing sellers who see their organs as tickets to some degree of financial independence and a better life for them and their families. The going rate for a kidney at the moment is about IDR 250 million which is about AUD 28,000. The going rate for a portion of your liver is about IDR 300 million.

To be clear the buying and selling of organs in Singapore is illegal. However, where the donor and the recipient of the organ are related then there is no ethical problem in the donor offering up their organs for transplant. A couple of Indonesians have been jailed and fined in Singapore for attempting to part with their organs for a fee. The laws in Indonesia also prohibit the trade of organs and hospitals are supposed to refuse surgery where it seems that there are commercial factors at play.

This is a case of simple math or economics. If you are earning IDR 5, 10, 15, or 20 thousand per day, then the idea of a IDR 250 million pay day for parting with a kidney might seem to be an attractive option for short term gain.

A case on point is that of Salimudin who sold 7.5cm of his liver for IDR 300 million. The process was one contingent on lies in that Salimudin was flown to Singapore and made two false declarations; one at the Indonesian Embassy and the second at the hospital in front of 10 doctors. Now that the formalities were over and everyone was satisfied that Salimudin was related to the recipient known as Samsul, the operation was carried out.

The IDR 300 million has allowed Salimudin to buy a 5,000sqm palm tree plantation and a house. By Salimudin's account everything is peaches as he and his family are better off than they were before and it only cost him 7.5cms of his liver. Life though is not that good that he would not consider selling a kidney.

Is this the first step into a brave new world where we breed people for organs?

Relationship Enders

These were written by a fella named David Wygant. I do not know who he is and I am too lazy to do an Internet search to find out. These six relationship breakers were written for "daters" but I figure they would apply to married couples as well.

Happy Reading!

1. Prying into private info. If you suspect your partner of betrayal, does that give you the right to start reading your partner's email? To listen to his/her voicemail messages? To hack into his/her online profile? The answer to all of these is "no!" You should never dig through your partner's personal emails or listen to your partner's voicemail messages. You should never dig through your partner's personal emails or listen to your partner's voicemail messages. By doing this, you violate not only your partner's trust, but also the trust your partner has with anyone who left those voice messages and emails.

2. Lying for the greater good. Lying is never good in a relationship, although we've probably all been guilty of doing it. Lying to your partner in an effort to avoid hurting him/her or to avoid confrontation may seem like a wise decision. Regrettably, you will end up digging a deeper hole for yourself when that lie is exposed, which is almost always inevitable. When caught in this situation, you end up hurting your partner anyway, and whatever you were trying to protect your partner from -- by lying to them -- will be even worse because of your deception. I recommend honestly communicating with your partner from the get-go.

3. Pulling a "James Bond." You should never snoop in your partner's private things (drawers, wallet, filing cabinet, or private records -- such as bank or credit card statements). Furthermore, nothing justifies snooping. No matter what you have a "hunch" about, snooping through your partner's things should never be pursued to confirm or deny your hunch. Your partner's possessions and personal records should be kept private unless he/she gives you permission to look at them. Spying on your partner is one of the most blatant violations of your partner's trust and will achieve nothing except having your partner never trust you to be alone near his/her things ever again.

4. Designating yourself "Magnum P.I." Another ill-advised way some people try to verify suspected bad behavior by their partner is to take on the role of private investigator by attempting to "catch their partner in the act" of doing something. Whether this takes the form of searching for your partner's car by driving by his/her house, work, or gym or it takes the form of following your partner in your car, this is something you should never do. Even if you have a convincing hunch that your partner is hiding something from you, stalking is the wrong way to address it. If your partner finds out you've been "tailing him/her" in your car, he/she will no longer trust you.

5. Sending others to do your dirty work. Don't ever send a friend or anyone else to gather information for you about your partner or to spy on your partner for you. This means, don't send a friend to go hang out where you know or suspect your partner will be. Don't have your friend try to eavesdrop on your partner's conversations in places he/she goes. Don't ask your friends to use their cell phone to snap covert pictures of your partner. All of these favors from friends not only violate your partner's trust, but also reveal your total lack of trust in your partner.

6. Checking up constantly. One of the biggest ways to reveal that you don't trust your partner is to manifest that distrust with paranoid and obsessive behavior. While calling your partner regularly is quite normal, calling him/her incessantly to "check up" comes off as obsessive and will drive your partner away. If, for example, your partner is unable to answer his/her phone for a few hours and by the time he/she accesses it he/she discovers you've called 50 times, you not only come off as being paranoid and obsessive, but you clearly communicate to your partner that you distrust him/her. Also, when you panic every time 10 minutes go by without a reply from your partner by a phone call or an email, it sends the exact same message.

A Blonde Joke

Apologies in advance for any one that this may offend!


A Blonde goes to K-Mart to buy curtains. She said to the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.'

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains

He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for?'

The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'

The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo...I've got Windoooooows...'

Colombia & Cocaine

Good news for some and bad news for others as Colombia's National Police Chief, Oscar Naranjo, tells an anti-drug summit that Colombia's share of world production has fallen form 90% in 2002 to around 54% today.

That is a significant drop for sure and it must be hurting the drug cartels based in Colombia. Yet, my guesstimation would be that what is lost on the merry-go-round is made up on the swing. Someone else is more than likely picking up Colombia's slack.

What the reduction does say though is that the police in Colombia are having success in their crop eradication efforts, the removal of drug laboratories, and the prosecution of drug bosses. This has seen more than a million hectares of drug crops destroyed. In another success story more than 74 tonnes of cocaine has been seized in the first three months of 2008.

I still wonder about legalization and take the black market out of the trade. Another debate for another post, I suppose!