Someone asked me for my thoughts on moving back to the "west". This was asked of me last year however the delay in getting round to writing it is not indicative of any malaise regarding the topic. Rather the issue is one of time. Anyone who has followed my travels and travails over the past 3 or so years will understand that my focus has been elsewhere. Nevertheless, I have committed myself to writing more opinion(ated) blog pieces than I have been doing. This has already been a successful venture considering last year I wrote two and this year I have already written three. But, I digress...
Presumably, the question is one of what is it like to move back to Australia after having spent the best part (almost the whole part) of fifteen years living and working in Indonesia. In a lot of ways it is a story of reverse culture shock. To be honest I am not sure it is even a story of interest but for me and mine (family). Simply, it is the story of my life with my family and our adjustment from one day to another and making the best and most of what we have at the times we have it.
Yet, moving anywhere is a challenge and I guess moving from Jakarta to Sydney and then to Collarenebri is a challenge of considerable proportions, particularly when one factors in raising a son, pursuing a Masters degree, and embarking on a new career. And, all the while, I am still being a husband and father.
This is a post that could run for tens of thousands of words as I explore every possible facet of what happened, how it happened, and what those happenings then triggered. The simple reality is perhaps as basic as death and taxes. Indonesia afforded us many opportunities to live a particular lifestyle. For example, when I first went to live and work in Indonesia it took me a considerable amount of time to come to grips with maids and other servants at my beck and call 24 hours a day if I so wanted it to be. Yet, it took no time at all to get used to other people having responsibility for paying my taxes and doing all that side of the financial equation.
In many ways I was young and naive and therefore incredibly open to the adventure of a new way of life. Indonesia provided that opportunity for an unbelievable adventure. I was fascinated by the little things--public transport, roving food stalls, ojeks (motorcycle taxis), becaks (bicycle rickshaws), eating food with chillies that made you wonder whether you were eating food or just chillies, and the people.
One thing that lingers, and it lingers because I still get the question, what are Indonesians like compared to "us"? I have always found this an interesting question for no other reason than it often is asked to draw a positive / negative comparison. The "us" and "them" dilemma amuses me no end as I am a "we" person. We are all human, we all have our human frailties, and we all at the most base level want better things for our children and grandchildren. But, once again, I digress...
Moving back to Australia, and Sydney in particular, was something that we wanted to do. So, in that regard it was much easier for us than for, say, someone whose job ended and another opportunity did not open up for them. The fact that we chose the move, and looked forward to it, meant that the transition was easier. I am not going to say it was all smooth sailing, but the reality is that one does what they have to do.
The laundry can only pile up for so long before you have to pick it up and take it to the washing machine and wash it. There are only so many days you can get up looking for your breakfast before you realise that you have to make your own. Similarly, it does not take all that long to recognise that there are no roving food stalls to satisfy that bakso craving at 2.00am as you finish writing that final op.ed piece.
Nevertheless, it was only this week as we were walking through the Pitt Street Mall in Sydney that my wife and I simultaneously looked at each other, had a knowing little smile, and meandered on. The captivating scent of a clove cigarette has that strange power to transport one back to a place that has been left far in the past. The old kretek gets us every time.
The truth is pretty plain and boring really. Life goes on. The transition was one that had to happen; good, bad, and ugly. We really did not linger. ponder, or dwell on the process. As individuals, as members of a family, as people we got on with it and did what we had. Do I find myself spending time thinking about the need for a maid or a gardener or a driver, no. Do I miss those parts of my / our previous existence, no.
If the point of the question was to find out whether I / we are happier here or were happier there, then the answer to that question is...well, that is like comparing good red wine and milk ;)
Now, if the question had been "how do you find living in the teeming metropolis of Jakarta and its satellite suburbs to the hustle and bustle of the 250 or so people that live in Collarenebri?" then my answer may well have been slightly different...
Showing posts with label Culture Shock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Culture Shock. Show all posts
10 January 2013
05 January 2011
A Review of "How to Catch Mr. Bule"
This is a simple "cut & paste" of a post made back in April 2008. I noticed that there has been renewed discussion of the merits of this book. The links have been updated, a picture added, and a postscript discussion.
As promised!
I scurried out this morning with the missus for an appointment with a doctor to confirm what a home pregnancy test had revealed on Friday! I know you are all wishing her well :)
Anyways, back to the book! After the appointment it was off for a wander in Metropolitan Mall and a swing by Gramedia. It did not take long to find the book and there were two great big piles of them. They were not flying off the shelf apparently but perhaps this is not a reflection of the quality of the book but rather that perhaps there are not as many Indonesian women in Bekasi looking to catch Mr. Bule. Long story short bought me a copy and then headed off to Hoka Hoka Bento for lunch.
As a side point, the missus did not believe such a book would ever be written. I said perhaps it might have been a good thing if it was written 12 or so years ago so she could have had the tools at her disposal to choose Mr. Right! Smiles all round...
So, how does the book hold up in comparison to other guide books like Lonely Planet's Indonesia on a Shoestring? Perhaps Lonely Planet is not such a good example now that it has been revealed that at least one of their authors did not even visit one of the countries he wrote a guide book on -- a total fraud! A travel guide might not be a fair comparison you say, but alas it is, and you will have to read the book to see why.
Nah, you won't! The book contains sections on living in foreign lands with Mr. Bule once you have caught him. So, it is a sort of Culture Shock (as advertised on Jakartass) meets Lonely Planet.
The book taps into all of the stereotypes that abound about inter-racial relationships between Indonesian women and bule men. But, it seems to be a genuine attempt at being informative about how to make the best of these relationships with a view to making them long-lasting. The 'empirical' evidence that the book is based on is word of mouth and personal experience. The author is married to a bule, Duncan Graham, and the author and Mr. Bule are currently residing in New Zealand (hence the culture shock meets lonely planet reference).
For all you out there who are offended by the word bule and the racist undertones that it has, will be pleased that the book offers up two other alternatives:
BULE = Beautiful Unlike Lots Elsewhere
or my personal favourite
BULE = Bald Ugly Lazy Easy (money)
For me, I could not help but have a little chuckle to myself when I read the advice that the author offers to Indonesian men who might be reading this little tome, which goes along the lines of if you, Indonesian men, want to get the attention of Indonesian women and stop them from preferring and finding bules then you, Indonesian men, need to treat Indonesian women better. This is a generalization and before you all jump on my head and beat the crap out of me in a figurative sense, these are the words of an Indonesian woman!
The chuckle however related to the idea that perhaps any Indonesian men reading this book were more interested in how they might be able to catch Mr. Bule as well rather than any interest in finding an Indonesian woman.
In the spirit of guide books there are chapters covering all the issues, at least as the author sees them, relating to the inter-racial relationships envisaged. These include chapters on communication, sex, gossip, extended family relationships.
The book is targeted at Indonesian women who are perhaps educated and professional but not so much to Indonesian women who might be looking to "escape" from the kampung. The book, at least for me, presupposes an equality between the prospective couple which you might not find with Indonesian women who have not had access to educational or work opportunities. However, some of the best advice relates to the idea that all bules are great. The author goes to some pains to point out that this is not the case and that bules are like everyone else; some good, some bad - avoid the bad!
Some of the other classic bits of advice relate to cultural issues like: don't be surprised if he (Mr. Bule) is not happy when you hit him up for cash to support your extended family like he is an ATM machine, don't be offended if on arrival home from a hard days work he greets his dog before he greets you (just the bule way apparently), don't worry that bule culture relies on alcohol but alcohol consumption is not always bad because sometimes in bule country it gets so cold that alcohol is drunk to warm up your body, and don't worry if your husband is watching a comedy show on TV and then all of a sudden breaks out in laughter and starts pissing himself laughing until he falls out of his chair and you just do not get the joke you should not feel alienated by this or become homesick, among many others.
Unfortunately, the book is only in Indonesian at the moment, but this is hardly surprising seeing that the target market is Indonesian women. So, if any of you bules out there want to know what it says precisely then you will have to read it yourself, or learn Indonesian, or get someone to read and translate it to you! Or you will just have to believe what I and others write about it!
For me it was in fact worth the 25,000 Rupes that I paid for it! I don't know that I learned anything but I did have fun reading through it! There were plenty of those WTF or are you kidding me moments. Yet, on reflection this was probably more so because of my personal experiences that are so different from those of the author than anything else, as well as the different ways that people view other cultures and their own...
Have a nice day!
Postscript to the original post...
I have discussed the racial connotations of the word bule in previous posts and how some "white" expatriates are offended by the term and others seem to want to co-opt it as a form of empowerment. In essence, there are some similarities between this debate and the debate that surrounds the word "nigger". However, seeing it is a debate happening in Indonesia and is far-removed from American pop culture, it simply is not a debate on the same scale. Although, as I recall from my travels through cyber-space, there have been many a heated discussion on the topic of bule. A good source for discussion, pros and cons, on the bule issue is Indonesia Matters.
However, as the title of the book suggests, the use of "bule" is common amongst Indonesians and most are unawares of the racial connotations. This is evidenced by the fact that Indonesian televisions programming includes shows like "Bule Gila" or "Crazy White People" among myriad of others.
As promised!
I scurried out this morning with the missus for an appointment with a doctor to confirm what a home pregnancy test had revealed on Friday! I know you are all wishing her well :)
As a side point, the missus did not believe such a book would ever be written. I said perhaps it might have been a good thing if it was written 12 or so years ago so she could have had the tools at her disposal to choose Mr. Right! Smiles all round...
So, how does the book hold up in comparison to other guide books like Lonely Planet's Indonesia on a Shoestring? Perhaps Lonely Planet is not such a good example now that it has been revealed that at least one of their authors did not even visit one of the countries he wrote a guide book on -- a total fraud! A travel guide might not be a fair comparison you say, but alas it is, and you will have to read the book to see why.
Nah, you won't! The book contains sections on living in foreign lands with Mr. Bule once you have caught him. So, it is a sort of Culture Shock (as advertised on Jakartass) meets Lonely Planet.
The book taps into all of the stereotypes that abound about inter-racial relationships between Indonesian women and bule men. But, it seems to be a genuine attempt at being informative about how to make the best of these relationships with a view to making them long-lasting. The 'empirical' evidence that the book is based on is word of mouth and personal experience. The author is married to a bule, Duncan Graham, and the author and Mr. Bule are currently residing in New Zealand (hence the culture shock meets lonely planet reference).
For all you out there who are offended by the word bule and the racist undertones that it has, will be pleased that the book offers up two other alternatives:
BULE = Beautiful Unlike Lots Elsewhere
or my personal favourite
BULE = Bald Ugly Lazy Easy (money)
For me, I could not help but have a little chuckle to myself when I read the advice that the author offers to Indonesian men who might be reading this little tome, which goes along the lines of if you, Indonesian men, want to get the attention of Indonesian women and stop them from preferring and finding bules then you, Indonesian men, need to treat Indonesian women better. This is a generalization and before you all jump on my head and beat the crap out of me in a figurative sense, these are the words of an Indonesian woman!
The chuckle however related to the idea that perhaps any Indonesian men reading this book were more interested in how they might be able to catch Mr. Bule as well rather than any interest in finding an Indonesian woman.
In the spirit of guide books there are chapters covering all the issues, at least as the author sees them, relating to the inter-racial relationships envisaged. These include chapters on communication, sex, gossip, extended family relationships.
The book is targeted at Indonesian women who are perhaps educated and professional but not so much to Indonesian women who might be looking to "escape" from the kampung. The book, at least for me, presupposes an equality between the prospective couple which you might not find with Indonesian women who have not had access to educational or work opportunities. However, some of the best advice relates to the idea that all bules are great. The author goes to some pains to point out that this is not the case and that bules are like everyone else; some good, some bad - avoid the bad!
Some of the other classic bits of advice relate to cultural issues like: don't be surprised if he (Mr. Bule) is not happy when you hit him up for cash to support your extended family like he is an ATM machine, don't be offended if on arrival home from a hard days work he greets his dog before he greets you (just the bule way apparently), don't worry that bule culture relies on alcohol but alcohol consumption is not always bad because sometimes in bule country it gets so cold that alcohol is drunk to warm up your body, and don't worry if your husband is watching a comedy show on TV and then all of a sudden breaks out in laughter and starts pissing himself laughing until he falls out of his chair and you just do not get the joke you should not feel alienated by this or become homesick, among many others.
Unfortunately, the book is only in Indonesian at the moment, but this is hardly surprising seeing that the target market is Indonesian women. So, if any of you bules out there want to know what it says precisely then you will have to read it yourself, or learn Indonesian, or get someone to read and translate it to you! Or you will just have to believe what I and others write about it!
For me it was in fact worth the 25,000 Rupes that I paid for it! I don't know that I learned anything but I did have fun reading through it! There were plenty of those WTF or are you kidding me moments. Yet, on reflection this was probably more so because of my personal experiences that are so different from those of the author than anything else, as well as the different ways that people view other cultures and their own...
Have a nice day!
Postscript to the original post...
I have discussed the racial connotations of the word bule in previous posts and how some "white" expatriates are offended by the term and others seem to want to co-opt it as a form of empowerment. In essence, there are some similarities between this debate and the debate that surrounds the word "nigger". However, seeing it is a debate happening in Indonesia and is far-removed from American pop culture, it simply is not a debate on the same scale. Although, as I recall from my travels through cyber-space, there have been many a heated discussion on the topic of bule. A good source for discussion, pros and cons, on the bule issue is Indonesia Matters.
However, as the title of the book suggests, the use of "bule" is common amongst Indonesians and most are unawares of the racial connotations. This is evidenced by the fact that Indonesian televisions programming includes shows like "Bule Gila" or "Crazy White People" among myriad of others.
08 May 2008
Culture Shock -- Jakarta
I am not quite sure why I bought this book! Maybe it was to make sure that the authors (Terry Collins and Derek Bacon) get at least some royalties for their efforts or perhaps the more likely excuse is that I needed to see whether my experiences were the same or similar to others. Then again maybe I bought the book because I just wanted to criticize the characterization or stereotyping of what it is like for us white folk living in Indonesia and particularly Jakarta!
The book set me back some IDR 163,000 from Kinokuniya in Plaza Indonesia. I was in Kinokuniya to buy a cross-stitch magazine for my better half and I happened to see the book and thought, why not? So, I whacked it on the counter and I now have my very own copy!
You might be wondering why a bloke who has spent so long in Jakarta wants to read anything to do with Culture Shock. Well, even after all this time living in Indonesia I am still "hey Mister" and perhaps this is both the beauty and the beast that is Jakarta; no matter how long you might have lived here and no matter how much you have integrated into society, you will never get away from being "Hey Mister!"
The book is well written (at least for my mind) and I found myself smiling and chuckling to myself as I read through it. It is surprising how much of the experience is common and how much we tend to forget of what has happened. It was nice to read and remember some of those long forgotten experiences that were jogged back into the more conscious memory!
I know one of the authors (Terry Collins) and perhaps I should make this as a disclaimer. Nevertheless, those of you that know me would know that I pull no punches. If I thought the book was garbage I would say so in not such an eloquent way! Yet, the book, I have found has been worth the money I outlaid for it, if for no other reason than it reminded me of moments that I have enjoyed during my stay.
Funnily enough most people are reporting that they are not finding this book in the arrival halls to Jakarta but rather in the departure shopping areas. I guess this might afford those on their way out of Jakarta a chance to buy the book for the purposes of answering this question: "what the hell just happened to me?"
I would have thought though that the best spot for this would be in the departure lounges of foreign locales and the arrival lounges of points of entry into Indonesia...but I guess this is why I studied law and not marketing!
But for anyone interested in learning the "ins and outs" of the Jakarta experience then this is perhaps the book for you. The book contains sections on the history and politics of Jakarta, settling in for those of you who might want to be more than tourists, visa and immigration information, business information, food and entertaining, fitting in, and communicating, among a number of others.
I think the most valuable learning tools in the book are the short glossary at the end, the culture quiz, and the "do's and don'ts" section.
So, go out and buy the book as it might just help you understand the experience you are about to have or the experience that you have just had!
16 April 2008
The Bule Files Too
As promised!
I scurried out this morning with the missus for an appointment with a doctor to confirm what a home pregnancy test had revealed on Friday! I know you are all wishing her well :)
Anyways, back to the book! After the appointment it was off for a wander in Metropolitan Mall and a swing by Gramedia. It did not take long to find the book and there were two great big piles of them. They were not flying off the shelf apparently but perhaps this is not a reflection of the quality of the book but rather that perhaps there are not as many Indonesian women in Bekasi looking to catch Mr. Bule. Long story short bought me a copy and then headed off to Hoka Hoka Bento for lunch.
As a side point, the missus did not believe such a book would ever be written. I said perhaps it might have been a good thing if it was written 12 or so years ago so she could have had the tools at her disposal to choose Mr. Right! Smiles all round...
So, how does the book hold up in comparison to other guide books like Lonely Planet's Indonesia on a Shoestring? Perhaps Lonely Planet is not such a good example now that it has been revealed that at least one of their authors did not even visit one of the countries he wrote a guide book on -- a total fraud! A travel guide might not be a fair comparison you say, but alas it is, and you will have to read the book to see why.
Nah, you won't! The book contains sections on living in foreign lands with Mr. Bule once you have caught him. So, it is a sort of Culture Shock (as advertised on Jakartass) meets Lonely Planet.
The book taps into all of the stereotypes that abound about inter-racial relationships between Indonesian women and bule men. But, it seems to be a genuine attempt at being informative about how to make the best of these relationships with a view to making them long-lasting. The 'empirical' evidence that the book is based on is word of mouth and personal experience. The author is married to a bule, Duncan Graham, and the author and Mr. Bule are currently residing in New Zealand (hence the culture shock meets lonely planet reference).
For all you out there who are offended by the word bule and the racist undertones that it has, will be pleased that the book offers up two other alternatives:
BULE = Beautiful Unlike Lots Elsewhere
or my personal favourite
BULE = Bald Ugly Lazy Easy (money)
For me, I could not help but have a little chuckle to myself when I read the advice that the author offers to Indonesian men who might be reading this little tome, which goes along the lines of if you, Indonesian men, want to get the attention of Indonesian women and stop them from preferring and finding bules then you, Indonesian men, need to treat Indonesian women better. This is a generalization and before you all jump on my head and beat the crap out of me in a figurative sense, these are the words of an Indonesian woman!
The chuckle however related to the idea that perhaps any Indonesian men reading this book were more interested in how they might be able to catch Mr. Bule as well rather than any interest in finding an Indonesian woman.
In the spirit of guide books there are chapters covering all the issues, at least as the author sees them, relating to the inter-racial relationships envisaged. These include chapters on communication, sex, gossip, extended family relationships.
The book is targeted at Indonesian women who are perhaps educated and professional but not so much to Indonesian women who might be looking to "escape" from the kampung. The book, at least for me, presupposes an equality between the prospective couple which you might not find with Indonesian women who have not had access to educational or work opportunities. However, some of the best advice relates to the idea that all bules are great. The author goes to some pains to point out that this is not the case and that bules are like everyone else; some good, some bad - avoid the bad!
Some of the other classic bits of advice relate to cultural issues like: don't be surprised if he (Mr. Bule) is not happy when you hit him up for cash to support your extended family like he is an ATM machine, don't be offended if on arrival home from a hard days work he greets his dog before he greets you (just the bule way apparently), don't worry that bule culture relies on alcohol but alcohol consumption is not always bad because sometimes in bule country it gets so cold that alcohol is drunk to warm up your body, and don't worry if your husband is watching a comedy show on TV and then all of a sudden breaks out in laughter and starts pissing himself laughing until he falls out of his chair and you just do not get the joke you should not feel alienated by this or become homesick, among many others.
Unfortunately, the book is only in Indonesian at the moment, but this is hardly surprising seeing that the target market is Indonesian women. So, if any of you bules out there want to know what it says precisely then you will have to read it yourself, or learn Indonesian, or get someone to read and translate it to you! Or you will just have to believe what I and others write about it!
For me it was in fact worth the 25,000 Rupes that I paid for it! I don't know that I learned anything but I did have fun reading through it! There were plenty of those WTF or are you kidding me moments. Yet, on reflection this was probably more so because of my personal experiences that are so different from those of the author than anything else, as well as the different ways that people view other cultures and their own...
Have a nice day!
I scurried out this morning with the missus for an appointment with a doctor to confirm what a home pregnancy test had revealed on Friday! I know you are all wishing her well :)
Anyways, back to the book! After the appointment it was off for a wander in Metropolitan Mall and a swing by Gramedia. It did not take long to find the book and there were two great big piles of them. They were not flying off the shelf apparently but perhaps this is not a reflection of the quality of the book but rather that perhaps there are not as many Indonesian women in Bekasi looking to catch Mr. Bule. Long story short bought me a copy and then headed off to Hoka Hoka Bento for lunch.
As a side point, the missus did not believe such a book would ever be written. I said perhaps it might have been a good thing if it was written 12 or so years ago so she could have had the tools at her disposal to choose Mr. Right! Smiles all round...
So, how does the book hold up in comparison to other guide books like Lonely Planet's Indonesia on a Shoestring? Perhaps Lonely Planet is not such a good example now that it has been revealed that at least one of their authors did not even visit one of the countries he wrote a guide book on -- a total fraud! A travel guide might not be a fair comparison you say, but alas it is, and you will have to read the book to see why.
Nah, you won't! The book contains sections on living in foreign lands with Mr. Bule once you have caught him. So, it is a sort of Culture Shock (as advertised on Jakartass) meets Lonely Planet.
The book taps into all of the stereotypes that abound about inter-racial relationships between Indonesian women and bule men. But, it seems to be a genuine attempt at being informative about how to make the best of these relationships with a view to making them long-lasting. The 'empirical' evidence that the book is based on is word of mouth and personal experience. The author is married to a bule, Duncan Graham, and the author and Mr. Bule are currently residing in New Zealand (hence the culture shock meets lonely planet reference).
For all you out there who are offended by the word bule and the racist undertones that it has, will be pleased that the book offers up two other alternatives:
BULE = Beautiful Unlike Lots Elsewhere
or my personal favourite
BULE = Bald Ugly Lazy Easy (money)
For me, I could not help but have a little chuckle to myself when I read the advice that the author offers to Indonesian men who might be reading this little tome, which goes along the lines of if you, Indonesian men, want to get the attention of Indonesian women and stop them from preferring and finding bules then you, Indonesian men, need to treat Indonesian women better. This is a generalization and before you all jump on my head and beat the crap out of me in a figurative sense, these are the words of an Indonesian woman!
The chuckle however related to the idea that perhaps any Indonesian men reading this book were more interested in how they might be able to catch Mr. Bule as well rather than any interest in finding an Indonesian woman.
In the spirit of guide books there are chapters covering all the issues, at least as the author sees them, relating to the inter-racial relationships envisaged. These include chapters on communication, sex, gossip, extended family relationships.
The book is targeted at Indonesian women who are perhaps educated and professional but not so much to Indonesian women who might be looking to "escape" from the kampung. The book, at least for me, presupposes an equality between the prospective couple which you might not find with Indonesian women who have not had access to educational or work opportunities. However, some of the best advice relates to the idea that all bules are great. The author goes to some pains to point out that this is not the case and that bules are like everyone else; some good, some bad - avoid the bad!
Some of the other classic bits of advice relate to cultural issues like: don't be surprised if he (Mr. Bule) is not happy when you hit him up for cash to support your extended family like he is an ATM machine, don't be offended if on arrival home from a hard days work he greets his dog before he greets you (just the bule way apparently), don't worry that bule culture relies on alcohol but alcohol consumption is not always bad because sometimes in bule country it gets so cold that alcohol is drunk to warm up your body, and don't worry if your husband is watching a comedy show on TV and then all of a sudden breaks out in laughter and starts pissing himself laughing until he falls out of his chair and you just do not get the joke you should not feel alienated by this or become homesick, among many others.
Unfortunately, the book is only in Indonesian at the moment, but this is hardly surprising seeing that the target market is Indonesian women. So, if any of you bules out there want to know what it says precisely then you will have to read it yourself, or learn Indonesian, or get someone to read and translate it to you! Or you will just have to believe what I and others write about it!
For me it was in fact worth the 25,000 Rupes that I paid for it! I don't know that I learned anything but I did have fun reading through it! There were plenty of those WTF or are you kidding me moments. Yet, on reflection this was probably more so because of my personal experiences that are so different from those of the author than anything else, as well as the different ways that people view other cultures and their own...
Have a nice day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)